I think it’s safe to say that Patrick Mahomes is America’s darling. At only 27 years of age he has already won the Superbowl twice, & to top it off he’s generally known as a really nice, decent human being. He is what a lot of older folks might call “clean-cut” were it not for his hair. Actually, he’s so nice & so talented that even the more racist white people might forgive him his “wild hair.” (I for one love his hair.) Basically, he’s impossible not to like, though if he turns into the next Tom Brady, which seems quite likely, it will be very interesting to see if American turns on him & he becomes a divisive character whom people either love to love or love to hate, as was (& is) the case with Brady. In any case, as well-loved & respected as Patrick is, America/the internet seems to have VERY different feelings toward his wife Brittany.

In case you aren’t familiar with their story, Patrick & Brittany have been together since high school. They got engaged in September 2020, on the day he received his first Super Bowl ring. Not long after the engagement they announced they were expecting a baby girl who was born five months later. They got married in March 2022 & had their second child, a son, in November of the same year. You might think they would be America’s sweethearts but somehow Brittany has garnered a lot of criticism & downright hatred. As someone who’s always fascinated by why people like certain things/people & dislike others, I’ve often pondered why Brittany attracts so much criticism, though I certainly never considered writing about it before now. However, this week I’ve seen an abundance of posts/articles about Brittany because of something Joe Rogan said about her during one of his recent podcasts. In short, he said her enthusiasm for Patrick would have the same level of energy but turned against him when they get divorced someday. Ouch! While I can somewhat understand the point Joe was trying to make, his comment is rank with bitterness & speaks more about his own issues than those of the Mahomes family. And that sentiment right there is exactly what I’m getting at in today’s post. Let me explain.

Every time I see people posting or speaking against Brittany, the criticisms are by & large the same: “She’s so loud! She’s obnoxious. She’s annoying! She needs to calm down. She’s not that pretty. He could do better.” Yada, yada, yada. Obviously Joe Rogan is a man, but I’d be willing to bet that at least half of Brittany’s detractors, & perhaps far more than half, are actually women. Which brings me once again to a point I’ve touched on in previous blog posts. Ladies, we are often our own worst enemy. We sit around wailing about misogyny, yet so often we bring each other down as much or more than men do. We need to do better. However, Brittany is definitely right when she says it’s pretty pathetic that grown men are bothered by her. Don’t they have anything better to do? Furthermore, if a popular female athlete had a husband or boyfriend who was super enthusiastic on the sidelines, I wonder how we would react to that? I have a feeling we’d say “Oh, how wonderful, he’s so supportive!” So maybe there IS some misogyny behind the hatred of Brittany. Just a thought.

Now, in the spirit of full transparency, have there been times when I’ve seen one of Brittany’s “loud, exuberant” posts at one of Patrick’s games & found her a bit annoying? Yes, I have. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. I just keep scrolling & move on- because I realize that her exuberance is not actually hurting anyone. The fact of the matter is she would be criticized just as much, perhaps by the exact same people, if she were quieter & had more traditional “decorum.” Then she would be panned as “boring, disengaged, or snobby.” What it comes down to is you CANNOT PLEASE PEOPLE. They will ALWAYS find something to criticize. ALWAYS.

As for the comments about her physical appearance? Those I find particularly disgusting, whether they’re coming from men or women. I for one find it refreshing that she is more naturally beautiful than some other NFL wives/girlfriends. That is to say she doesn’t look like a walking plastic surgery/Botox advertisement. She looks believable! Ladies, we should find this encouraging! We should be celebrating it!

Now, what is really at the root of all of these complaints/criticisms about Brittany? The more I ponder it, the more I’m convinced that what’s behind most of the hatred toward her is jealousy & dissatisfaction/disappointment. Honestly, I think that’s true for almost every time we find ourselves criticizing someone for something that isn’t very concrete. It’s perfectly reasonable & justified to criticize someone for actual bad behavior- e.g. murder, rape, theft, abuse, assault, racism, etc. We SHOULD be calling out those kinds of behaviors. But whenever we find ourselves bothered by someone for more trivial reasons, I think we need to ask ourselves why. What I suspect we’ll often find is jealousy: we simply want what that person has- whether it’s money, fame, physical attractiveness, athletic or musical ability, power, etc. This is perfectly natural & in my opinion there is nothing strictly wrong with feeling that way. It’s what we DO with that feeling that matters. If we allow it to eat at us & tear down others because of it, THAT’S when it becomes a problem. The second thing that I think is behind these kinds of criticisms is dissatisfaction or disappointment with our own lives, which is of course the underlying factor behind the aforementioned jealousy. Perhaps people find Patrick’s relationship with Brittany triggering because it reminds them of their own failed relationships. After all, not many people can say they married their high school sweetheart. Again, in the spirit of full transparency, perhaps one reason I DON’T find their relationship triggering is because I DID marry my high school boyfriend. So maybe that makes it easier for me not to find them annoying. Just a thought.

At the end of the day this post really isn’t about Brittany Mahomes. It’s about asking ourselves why we find other people triggering or annoying & feel the need to tear them down. I’m not saying we aren’t allowed to have our likes & dislikes or that we should never say a negative word about anyone ever. Not at all. But I AM saying that the next time we find ourselves disliking someone for very superficial or trivial reasons, we ought to ask ourselves why. Is what this is person doing actually hurting anyone? Or are we just jealous because their success reminds us of our own failures? If the latter is the case, let’s use that jealousy to work on ourselves instead of tearing others down. That’s how we make the world a better place for all of us.