I’ve done a similar post before, but I think this theme deserves to be revisited.

You might be a nurse (or other healthcare member) if . . .

• You’re watching Sunday night football & every time you see the SNF logo, you think skilled nursing facility.
• Being sick SUCKS because you always think of every worst case scenario known to mankind . . . because that’s how you have to think when you take care of other people for a living.
• You have absolutely no conception of what constitutes normal meal-time conversation . . . You mean sex & gross stories about all manner of bodily fluids & pooping aren’t normal dinner table topics?  Oops.
• You read a friend’s post that starts off or ends with PTL & you wonder why they’re talking about pre-term labor.
• Or you read PSA somewhere & your first thought is prostate specific antigen.
• You casually refer to medications by their classifications (such as NSAIDs, SSRIs, or PPIs) without realizing that the average person has no idea what you’re talking about. Sorry, guys.
• You want to roll your eyes every time someone asks you what you’re doing for the holidays because the answer is almost always “working.”
• You swear you can hear IV pumps beeping or telemetry alarms sounding in your sleep.
• You’ve walked in on someone masturbating & that person wasn’t a relative or roommate . . . Yep, this happens way more often than you might think.
• You’ve discovered that seemingly frail elderly men (& women) can actually be very strong . . . & many of them really enjoy being nude . . .
• Random people whom you haven’t really talked to in years message you to ask for health advice, sometimes about really private matters . . . But you don’t mind because in some strange way you feel honored that these folks trust you so much.
• You want to (or actually do) scream at the TV every time you see people on medical shows shocking patients in asystole! No!!
• You’ve bought “old lady” compression hose at the pharmacy because you’re trying to prevent those unsightly varicose veins you have the pleasure of seeing all the time.
• You’ve come back to work only to find that a patient you cared for a few days ago is now on isolation . . . Ughhhh.
• You’ve ever had to remind yourself that you don’t have to measure your OWN (or your pet’s) I&O (that’s intake & output).
• Every time you hear 9-5’ers complaining about traffic, you can’t help but smile to yourself & think “you poor miserable chumps.”
• On the other hand whenever someone says to you “Oh, it must be so easy to only work 3 days a week,” you kind of want to strangle them because they clearly have no idea how difficult those 3 days are. (That being said, I do love working only 3 days a week, & you definitely won’t see me looking for a 9-5 job any time soon, if ever.)
• You have a list of doctors & nurses you never want to take care of you if/when you’re ever hospitalized . . . & another list of those you absolutely DO want to take care of you.
• You’ve ever felt like a juggler, a waitress (or waiter), a baby-sitter, & a scribe . . . all within the first hour of your shift.