The Inadequacy Illusion


Do you ever find yourself feeling inadequate in today’s era of social media?  I know I do.  Actually I don’t think I need social media to feel inadequate from time to time, but I do think it can exacerbate things which is why I’m trying to limit my use of it.  Anyway, the following is a list of the things that make me feel inadequate on a regular basis.

inadequate mom

I laughed! But in all seriousness, I don’t do crunchy mom blogs because I can only imagine how inadequate they would make me feel.  I ain’t got time for that.

  • I’m 20 lbs overweight
  • I don’t eat as healthily as I should (though pretty well by American standards)
  • I hate running
  • My jeans are not a single digit size anymore
  • I hate decorating, crafts, scrap-booking, & all that cutesy stuff
  • I get frustrated with my toddler way more than I feel like I “should”
  • I don’t eat all organic, non-GMO or use only all-natural products . . . or even really care to do so
  • I have no interest in going back to school for a master’s or doctorate degreedont compare

And the following is a list of reasons why all of the above are basically nonsense

  • I’m stronger than the average woman
  • I eat a lot more healthily than I used to
  • I love lifting weights & taking long walks
  • I’m not defined by the size of jeans I wear . . . And I AM working on losing weight because I know it is important for my long-term health.
  • Anyone who judges me for not being a “Pinterest mom” isn’t my friend anyway
  • Toddlers are frustrating by definition . . . But also sweet & adorable, thankfully!
  • Listen, we’re all dying some day.  Sure it’s great to be as healthy as possible but I’m not going to obsess over every little ingredient in my life . . . Besides, arsenic is 100% natural- & it will surely kill you.  So yeah, there’s that.
  • I have the rest of my life to work or go back to school . . . But my baby will only be little once, so I’m going to soak up these years while I can because I know they’ll be gone before I know it.pinterest mom

Moreover, I’m trying to remind myself that for every time I feel bad about myself for one of the above reasons, there is probably someone out there who wishes she (or he) had my life.  I refuse to berate myself for having feelings of inadequacy because that’s just a never-ending cycle of guilt that gets me nowhere, but I AM trying to take a step back & think about all the many wonderful things in my life & how grateful I am to be where I am today.  At the end of the day, I think we all have this illusion that our lives are inadequate in one way or another- & we just need to learn that it’s just that- an illusion.  I might not be as patient as I wish I were- but at least I’m aware of it & working on it.  I might not be the perfect embodiment of attachment parenting- or any other parenting model, for that matter- but I’m trying my best & I have a happy, healthy child who is proof that I must be doing something right.  And right now, that is good enough for me.

 

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