Monday Morning Musings

I’ve got a lot of random thoughts swimming around my head right now.  And no, they aren’t ALL about pregnancy, babies, or children.  In case you’re wondering, this isn’t going to turn into a “mommy blog,” although I’m sure I will have more posts about that subject than I did before, but I assure you it won’t be the main theme.

Anyway, some of these topics may evolve into their own blog posts later this week, but for now I’ll just do a brief visit on each subject as a means of clearing my mind.pregnancy boob cartoon

  • On Saturday I went to one of the local malls to look for new bras. Yes, I’m not even finished with the first trimester (getting close though), & already my old bras have gotten too tight to be comfortable.  Woohoo!  Haha!  Anyway, there I am in Motherhood Maternity trying on bras when the saleswoman starts going on & on to me about how horrible her pregnancies were & how she desperately hopes she isn’t pregnant again.  As if that weren’t bizarre enough, she then goes on to say that I better hope my baby isn’t a girl because “girls are so much harder.”  (Did I mention I was trying on bras during all of this?!)  Unfortunately this isn’t the first time I’ve been told this.  As early as last year when I was just talking about having kids several women told me to hope for boys because “they’re easier.”  I’ve always found such comments incredibly rude & obnoxious, & I think the fact that they’ve always come from women makes them even worse.  How do these women not realize that they are perpetuating negative stereotypes against their own gender?  It’s very obvious to me that it all boils down to parents being afraid that their daughters will get pregnant & become a burden on them.  I understand this is a legitimate fear, but if we raised our kids in such a way that sex wasn’t completely off the table for discussion or always regarded as something dirty to which they can’t have access, maybe we wouldn’t have to worry so much about such things.  And shouldn’t parents of boys be equally worried that their sons will impregnate someone at an early age or disadvantageous time?  If I have sons I sure as hell will be.  And maybe we wouldn’t have to worry so much about our daughters getting hurt by men if we as a society raised better men.  Hmm, just a thought . . . No matter what your thoughts are on the subject, I just think it is unacceptable to make such comments, especially to a complete stranger!  Additionally, I just can’t help but wonder if women who make such comments treat their daughters differently than their sons.  I certainly am incredibly grateful that my mom (& dad) never once made me feel like I was more difficult or a greater burden to them because I was a girl.  Also next time someone makes such a comment to me (because sadly I’m sure it will happen again) I sincerely hope that instead of just being flabbergasted & saying nothing at all I will have the courage to tell them exactly where to get off.  In a relatively polite way of course.tony porter quote boy girl
  • The next subject actually deals with gender as well. Living in NC naturally there are all kinds of memes floating around the internet about the whole transgender bathroom issue.  I understand that some people have legitimate concerns that sexual predators will start using the women’s bathroom as a way to target females.  However, in my opinion the likelihood of this happening is no greater now than it ever has been.  I certainly have trouble believing that a cisgender heterosexual male is going to pretend to be transgender, one of the most misunderstood & generally disliked groups of people in our society, & dress up as a woman just to get into the women’s bathroom & have a chance of harassing someone.  But that’s not really what I want to discuss today.  What really bothers me about this whole issue is the complete lack of empathy I’m seeing over & over again in regard to the transgender community.  And a lot of this is coming from people I genuinely love & respect!  I just don’t understand how otherwise decent people can have so little empathy for someone who identifies with the opposite gender.  Do these people really think someone would CHOOSE to feel that way with all of the difficulties it entails just for the hell of it?  That’s absurd.  Besides which, if you really think about it, a person who is biologically a male but identifies as a woman & chooses to live as a woman is quite likely actually attracted to men & probably has no sexual interest in women anyway.  But that’s really all beside the point.  It’s the total lack of empathy surrounding this issue that just makes me want to pull out my hair & throw up my hands in defeat. empathy
  • Is it bizarre that the idea of potty-training my kids scares me more than teaching them about sex or death or other such traditionally “difficult” subjects? I was awake at 0500 today pondering such things as how to teach my kids fractions & basic math.  Somehow this seems more intimidating than teaching them all the “hard” stuff, which is kind of ironic considering I’ve always been really good at math anyway.  I just have this irrational fear that I won’t be able to figure out the “easy,” basic stuff like potty-training or teaching my kids to tie their shoes.  I know it’s irrational but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about these things sometimes.  Overall though I am extremely proud of myself for how relaxed I’ve been throughout this pregnancy so far.

    Gee, how long does it take to litter train one of these?

    Too funny!

  • I have never been the jealous type but there is this one girl who goes to my gym who is just so beautiful & in such perfect shape that I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy every time I see her. Her face is beautiful, her hair is gorgeous, her skin is flawless, & she has the perfect amount of nicely defined muscles while still having plenty of curves.  But when I saw her yesterday it occurred to me that no matter how “perfect” she may seem to me, I have no idea how she actually feels about herself.  For all I know she could be jealous of girls like me who have considerably bigger boobs!  The point is we all have our own “hang-ups,” our own insecurities about our so-called “flaws” that in reality most other people probably never even notice.insecurity quote

Well, those are my thoughts for today.  As I said, some of these topics may evolve into separate blog posts later this week, but for now I hope these discussions were both humorous & thought-provoking.  Happy Monday, everyone!

Why Caitlyn Jenner Really is a Hero

Hero . . . it’s a word that’s being thrown around a lot these days.  But what does it really mean?

Looking at the dictionary, it simply means someone who is admired for bravery, courage, or other such noble qualities.  Since Caitlyn Jenner won the ESPY courage award, I’ve seen & heard a lot of outcry over how so many “more courageous” people should have received the award.  But it seems obvious to me that heroes come in all shapes & sizes, all characters & varieties.  Some heroes are conventional, like soldiers, firefighters, & EMTs.  Others are less conventional . . . like Caitlyn Jenner.caitlyn jenner

While I am by no means discounting the bravery of more conventional heroes like those listed above, I ask that my fellow Americans & world citizens take a moment to consider how brave someone like Caitlyn Jenner really is.  Being a soldier, firefighter, or EMT is by no means easy & certainly does require a great deal of bravery.  But it’s also something that is greatly admired by the general public; thus it’s most unlikely that anyone will ever question your path in life because you’ve chosen such an admirable one.  Now consider someone like Caitlyn Jenner: she has chosen a path that is full of angst & potentially even violence, as our society as a whole is not kind to or accepting of transgender people (& I imagine it is worse for those who are born physiologically male but identify as female, like Caitlyn).  But despite these challenges, she has still chosen that path.hero quote

As a cisgender female, I confess I cannot truly imagine what it would be like to feel like I was born the wrong gender.  And as much as I truly believe men & women have far more commonalities than differences, I can still empathize with how difficult it must be to feel trapped in the “wrong” body.  And worse yet to feel like you cannot express these feelings without potentially being rejected by even your closest friends & family.  How isolating that must be!  It’s no wonder someone like Caitlyn Jenner spent the majority of her life as a man.Dalai lama quote

I know there are a lot of people (many in my own family) who argue that being transgender is just not natural.  (Many of course argue the same thing for homosexuality.)  But I just cannot bring myself to believe that anyone would CHOOSE to feel like they were born the wrong gender . . . (or CHOOSE to be gay or lesbian), especially considering how this “lifestyle” is still quite unaccepted in our society as a whole.  It’s not like those of us who are cisgender &/or heterosexual CHOSE to be that way either.  It’s just the way we were born.  It’s what came naturally to us.  But what comes naturally to one person doesn’t necessarily come naturally to everyone else, & as long as no one is getting hurt, I really don’t see what the big deal is.  I truly don’t understand why it’s so difficult to believe that some people are just born differently.maya angelou quote

I’m not transgender but I am a bit of a black sheep in my family:  I drink (occasionally).  I curse (because no one has ever been able to convince me that certain words are “bad;” that is just so completely illogical, but that is a whole other blog post unto itself).  I support homosexuality & transgenderism (is that a word?).  I listen to rock music & heavy metal.  I lived with my husband before we were married (shocking, I know!).

But in spite of all these so-called “bad” traits, I’m a compassionate nurse who loves working with the elderly & volunteers with a local hospice group, & I go out of my way to feed the homeless as much as I can.  Frankly, part of me loves screwing with people’s heads by being such a bad good girl (or maybe I should say a good bad girl?).black sheep

My point is that I know a little bit of what it’s like to “go against the grain.”  I know what it’s like to keep your mouth shut & your opinions to yourself for fear of being regarded as a heathen liberal.  Thankfully I am ever so slowly getting better at speaking my mind as I ever so slowly realize my family won’t actually disown me for being different, yet it is still really hard sometimes.   But there comes a point when you realize that being true to yourself & your own beliefs is more important than appeasing others.

I’ve strayed from the original intent of this post, but what no one, & I do mean no one, has ever been able to answer on this subject is this one simple question that I really think clinches the issue: How are transgender people hurting anyone?  How is Bruce Jenner becoming Caitlyn Jenner hurting a single person?transgender quote

The answer to me is quite obvious: she isn’t.  She is simply embracing the person she knows she really is.  And in doing so I believe she will inspire others who are suffering in silence, afraid to live their lives as they really desire, to embrace their true selves & live the lives of which they’ve only dreamed.

And that is why Caitlyn Jenner really is a hero.