To All of You Freaks Like Me

To expound a bit on the beginning of yesterday’s post, may I just say once again how much I cannot stand modern country & pop music?

Why am I harping on this again? Well, today I cleaned out my closet, something I’ve been meaning to do for a very long time, & took some clothes over to Plato’s Closet. I was pretty sure they would reject most of the items & I’d end up taking most of them to the thrift store, but I figured it was worth a shot anyway. While I was at the store waiting for them to look over my stuff, I was forced to listen to some of this godawful modern country & pop . . . And I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I became angrier & angrier the longer I was in that store!

As I said yesterday, I haven’t listened to the radio in months so I guess I’ve been away from this kind of music long enough to forget just how bad it really is. Stuff like this & this just make me want to scream. I mean the lyrics, not to mention the music itself, are just so BAD!! Then there’s Luke Bryan’s That’s My Kinda Night & Florida Georgia Line’s Sippin’ on Fire which to me are the epitome of everything that is wrong with modern country music . . . Yes, they’re catchy songs, but catchy in no way equals good. More often than not I think the catchier a song is, the stupider it is. If you really think about it, a song that is both lyrically & musically sound is probably NOT going to be super catchy at first. Indeed most songs that say something worth hearing are NOT easily digestible, at least on first listen. One could easily say the same for books & most other kinds of art.

Yes!! I’m only 26, folks. I’m NOT old.

Now let’s take a quick walk through the ever bizarre world of fashion. As I was wandering around Plato’s Closet today, I kept experiencing the same phenomenon I so often do in stores these days: I kept thinking “Ugh, this stuff is just bizarre, some of it even downright ugly. Who wears this crap?!” And as usual I found myself wondering why anyone would torture themselves with the stilettos & other such uncomfortable fashions that dotted the store. I might be only 26, but life is way too short to be uncomfortable for the sake of fashion, no matter how “good” something looks. If that makes me lazy, I really could not possibly care less . . . Anyways, as it turned out, Plato’s Closet did reject all of my clothes, which was really not surprising considering most of them were pretty old AND considering I’ve never exactly been a fashionista. So I just took the clothes to the thrift store & called it a day.

For those of you who enjoy looking like a lamp shade . . .

As I said, I’m far from a fashionista. But that’s not to say I’m frumpy either; I certainly don’t go out in sweatpants & raggedy old T-shirts or anything like that. But the older I get, the more I find that I am truly disinterested in following the trends of fashion. For at least the past three or four years, it’s become increasingly difficult for me to find clothes I actually like. This is probably because lately a lot of really girly clothes have been in style. If something has frills, pleats, bows, or a large amount of sequins or glitter, odds are I’m not going to like it. If it’s a crop top or skinny jeans, you can just forget about it. And if it could be described as preppy, don’t even bother. I don’t suppose I have a scientific reason for why I really dislike these fashions; I just do. Maybe it’s because some of them strike me as rather childish & I for one am NOT a little girl anymore. I’m a woman, even if sometimes I have to remind myself that, yes, I am actually an adult. (The older I get, the more I realize no one ever really feels like an adult; we’re all just doing the best we can. But that’s a whole other blog post right there.)

And for those of you who want to look like you have wings on your hips

I guess what I’m starting to realize is, like so many things in life, when it comes to fashion I like things that will last, that is classics that never go out of style. I love things like V-neck sweaters, boot-cut jeans, sheath dresses (I think that’s the right term), athletic-style tank tops, & leopard print (though I’m very particular about leopard print because it can be incredibly tacky if not done right). None of these things is particularly trendy now or maybe ever, but they’re never really OUT of style either, if that makes sense. Considering I’m married to the first man I ever dated, I guess it makes sense that my personality type would be attracted to fashions that will stand the test of time.

Maybe it’s boring, but I really like classic styles like this.

Unlike yesterday’s post this isn’t really supposed to be deep or super meaningful. I’m basically just ranting about how disenfranchised I feel from popular culture, particularly when it comes to music & fashion. At the end of the day, the music thing bothers me a lot more because the older I get (I keep saying that!!), the more I realize how powerful music really is & the more important it becomes to me in my daily life. Gene Simmons might have proclaimed that rock is dead, but I for one know it is not. I know I’m biased because I have a predilection for rock & metal, but one reason this kind of music speaks to me so much is that the vast, vast majority of rock & metal bands write all of their own music, both the lyrics & the music itself. They aren’t just auto-tuned pop stars singing over top electronically produced tracks! It just makes me so angry when I think about all of the truly talented musicians out there whose work isn’t getting a fraction of the airplay & attention that talentless idiots like Justin Beiber, Selena Gomez, Carley Rae Jepson, & Miley Cyrus are getting.

Yes!

Again, this was just a rant. I realize there are more important issues in the world today. I can forgive the fashion industry for producing ugly clothes. But I cannot forgive the music industry for producing & promoting so much blatantly BAD music. And furthermore I cannot forgive the masses for consuming it & LIKING it.

As Corey Tyalor so eloquently stated in his first book The Seven Deadly Sins (seriously, folks, you need to read it!), “Bad music is a form of murder to the true art of music in general. Bad music forced on a child is abuse because it invariably forms that child’s taste in music. Bad music has raped an industry that was held up strongly by great expression for decades but now finds itself floundering, giving in to the lowest common denominator of music just to keep its panties around its waist. Bad music tortures the eardrums & kills little bits of your senses through prolonged exposure. Bad music steals money from shallow pockets, steals airtime from more deserving bands & songwriters, & steals the spotlight from undiscovered geniuses who have all but given up on a dream because of the mediocrity of popular radio. Bad music is a lie, & yet it is foisted on the public in an attempt to turn melodies & songs into hamburgers & fries. Bad music is truly a sin because you don’t have to be exceptional to make it in the music industry anymore. You just have to be good enough to stick around & be tolerated.”

To end on a positive note, let me share one of my favorite Halestorm songs that celebrates all of you freaks like me.And because I’m feeling extra generous, click here to check out the new track from Gemini Syndrome. This is just one example of the extraordinary work this band produces. Every song they write is both lyrically & musically fantastic.

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18 Ways Modern Society Infuriates Me

This post is meant to be both humorous & thought-provoking. I invite you to laugh with me. But please think with me also . . .

We create & consume porn by the truckload & watch Miley Cyrus twerk on TV, but we’re afraid to discuss real sexuality & issues that actually matter like birth control, teen pregnancy, breastfeeding, & rape/sexual abuse.
We complain about the lack of decent guys (& girls) but we participate in a hook-up culture that promotes zero self-respect & commitment. We say we want to keep things simple, not realizing that sex is never simple, yet relationships needn’t be half as complicated as we seem to make them.
The two major political parties are a farce. Anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves.
Religious groups are becoming increasingly polarized. As more & more people stray from mainstream religion, those who remain are becoming increasingly radical.
The people who oppose abortion 100% of the time regardless of circumstances are very often the exact same people who oppose birth control or at least do not support the notion that easily accessible birth control would help reduce the incidence of abortion.
Our economy sucks but the average wedding still costs upwards of $20,000.
Skinny jeans are still in style.
We’re still holding onto the idea that cholesterol is the main culprit behind heart disease when research has shown time & time again that this is absolutely false.
The American school system foregoes teaching Spanish & other “foreign” languages until middle & high school, WELL past the prime age at which the brain is capable of learning new languages.
Rock radio stations are increasingly hard to find.
Bro country exists . . . And there is enough of it to warrant naming this god-awful phenomenon.
TV shows & movies almost NEVER get Southern accents right. Apparently no one in Hollywood has ever actually been to the South.
There is a large segment of the population who still believes homosexuality is wrong. I just can’t compute that one at all.
The average cashier in America hasn’t been instructed on the importance of handing customers their change with all the bills facing in the same direction. The OCD/pseudo-OCD population of America, of which I am part, collectively cringes.
Everyone seems to believe in separation of church & state for every religion except their own.
Speaking of religion, you can believe anything you want in the name of religion, you can even exhibit prejudice & discrimination against certain groups of people, but if you object to traditional religion (at least parts of it anyway) because of logical fallacies, suddenly YOU’RE the crazy one.
Jersey Shore existed.
Kim Kardashian has a career.

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Old at Heart

“You’re so mature.” “You’re old at heart.” “You’re only 18 [21, 23, insert current age]?! You seem so much older.” Between my mom, other family members, friends in college, & coworkers, these are all phrases I’ve heard quite consistently throughout my life. The vast majority of the time they’ve been meant as compliments (I think), though as a teenager naturally I found such comments a bit upsetting because they seemed to highlight exactly how uncool I really was. However, I also realized that the very things that made me uncool at the time were the exact things that would make me successful later in life. (I suppose the ability to realize that really was a mark of maturity.) Once I was in college such comments bothered me a bit less because once you’re out of high school being cool stops having so many rewards while being intelligent, well-read, & capable of carrying on conversations of actual depth become much more important characteristics, all of which I was (& am) proud to possess.

In any case, of late I’ve noticed a bevy of articles on Buzzfeed, Thought Catalog, & other such websites about the reality of adulthood after college, your early 20’s vs your late 20’s, & signs you’re nearing 30, etc, etc. A former coworker of mine posted such an article on her Facebook yesterday: http://viralpoop.com/30-signs-youre-almost-30/. Reading this article made me recall all the times I’ve been called “old at heart” & the mixed feelings these types of comments always create. As I read the list of “30 signs you’re almost 30” I realized once again how many of these things are true for me & more importantly how many of them have been true for me for YEARS now. Perhaps some of it has to do with being an introvert who has always preferred casual nights at home with friends to wild nights at loud bars & crowded clubs. Or perhaps I really am just “old at heart.”

Whatever the reason for this, I’ve decided to embrace it. Being old at heart might mean I get invited to fewer bars, clubs, & parties, but it also means I have a solid group of close friends whom I can truly count on in good times & bad. Being old at heart might make me boring in some people’s eyes, but it also means I have a good career & am financially savvy. I might be out of touch with popular music, but if you want to veer off the beaten path, I’ll be happy to introduce you to a long list of lesser-known but extremely talented musicians & bands. I might own the world’s oldest I-pod (I refuse to upgrade until it breaks because I see no need to replace something that works just fine), but I also own dozens of actual CDs which I am always happy to lend to friends so they can discover awesome new music. Being old at heart means I am ghostly pale in the winter & have tan-lines in the summer, but my risk for melanoma will be a lot lower than all of my cohorts who zap their skin in tanning beds or forego sunscreen on a regular basis (not to mention when I do hit 30 I’ll probably look a lot younger than they will). I will never wear skinny jeans & cannot stand almost every major fashion trend of the past few years, but the clothes I do buy are classics that will stand the test of time & can be worn for years to come. (And if boot-cut/flare jeans aren’t classics, then I truly do not give a damn. I’m rocking them anyway.)

I’ve often heard it said in life that the things we criticize about ourselves the most or the things we feel most self-conscious about are exactly the things that make us fascinating, unique, & beautiful. For example a friend of mine once told me that he had always felt self-conscious about his nose. The ironic thing was that I had always thought his nose was exactly what made him uniquely attractive. As another example, I’ve always been self-conscious about the fact that I’m eternally clumsy, always tripping or dropping something. However, my coworkers affectionately call me “Clumsylina” & tell me how endearing my clumsiness is. I also feel self-conscious about my hair at times. I hate styling it (or having anyone else style it) because sitting in front of a mirror fretting over my appearance has always struck me as an absurd waste of time. Therefore I sometimes worry that my hair looks unkempt & fear that I give off an “I don’t care” vibe when really I just hate fooling with it. However, the reality is that I get more compliments on my hair than on anything else appearance-related. (Apparently having naturally wavy/curly-ish hair is a blessing that I’m only just starting to appreciate.) If you want an example in the media, consider Jess on Fox’s New Girl. One of the most common descriptors for her character is quirky, thanks in part to her unique outfits, her naiveté, & her propensity for turning anything & everything into a song, & at times she is quite self-conscious about these things. Yet it is exactly these quirks that Nick can’t resist & that attract audiences across the world to watch the show.

The point of all this is that it’s often our quirks, even our supposed “faults,” that define us, that make us unique & exciting, & that attract others to us. Perhaps being old at heart is my greatest quirk & instead of being embarrassed by it, it’s time to embrace it & realize that being old at heart doesn’t have to mean I’m boring. It’s just who I am, & I like myself this way. Therefore I am going to embrace it, & the next time someone calls me “old at heart” I will smile & thank them for the compliment with no second thoughts. And if I do have second thoughts, I’ll remember this blog post & why I wrote it.

How about you? What quirks about yourself make you self-conscious but make others love you? Has anyone ever called you old at heart? If so, how did it make you feel?

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25 Reasons Why I’m Not Cool

Do you ever have those days when you feel like you’re in high school all over again? Everyone seems hipper, cooler, trendier, prettier, & generally more interesting than you? I hope you don’t, but I know I still have those days from time to time. Today is one of them for whatever reason. This afternoon while I was sitting at the pool studying for my PCCN exam I started thinking about all the many reasons why I’m not cool, all the things that make me a nerd but not in the “cool” way. Here we go.

1. I can’t dive. I have tried so hard to learn but I just can’t do it.

2. I can’t use chopsticks. Seriously, was this a lesson in high school or college that I just inadvertently missed?

3. I don’t like sushi. I wish I did. Everyone who eats sushi looks so sophisticated & interesting. I have tried, but I just don’t like it.

4. I hate skinny jeans. If they were never in style again it would please me to no end. It stresses me out when I go to the Gap (or the Gap Outlet to be more precise) & have to struggle to find flare or boot cut jeans.

5. While we’re on the fashion subject, I hate pretty much all the clothes that are in style nowadays (for women). Most of them are so unflattering on anyone who isn’t a size 2. And let’s face it. I’ve lost 15 lbs this year but I will never be a size 2. And I don’t even want to be. I do sometimes like the clothes I see other girls wear & yet I think those same styles look ridiculous on me. It’s probably a good thing my work attire consists solely of scrubs. Oh, & I don’t wear stilettos because I can’t think of a good reason to voluntarily torture myself.

6. I think Coach bags are a sham. If I ever spend more than $50 on a purse, someone please take me to the hospital because that will be a sign I’m having a psychotic break.

7. I really don’t know how to use make-up. I am scared to death to use an eyelash curler & I’ve never successfully learned how to apply eyeliner.

8. I really don’t like going out for drinks. It’s over-priced & over-rated. I don’t hate it, but if I want to drink I would always rather do it at home or at a friend’s apt/house. It just feels more relaxed. I know that makes me old & boring but it’s the truth. Don’t get me wrong. I love hanging out with friends & don’t mind a bit if other people want to drink more than me. It’s just not my thing most of the time.

9. I hate treadmills. In fact I really don’t enjoy any kind of cardio other than hiking (in the mountains) & soccer, neither of which I can do whenever I please. But I do force myself to use the treadmill anyway.

10. I would rather eat a juicy burger than a crisp, healthy salad any day of the week. I hate going out to eat & ordering just a salad. It feels like such a waste.

11. For basically as long as I can remember, people have always thought I am older than I am. I remember being a freshman in college & so many people thought I was a senior. Nowadays instead of people asking “Are you married?,” they often ask “Do you have kids?” I always want to tell them I’m not old enough to have kids & then I remember that technically I am.

12. I refuse to use self-tanner or tanning beds. I have no problem with other people using self-tanner but I just don’t like “faking” my skin color even if it means being ungodly pale in the winter. Tanning beds of course are carcinogenic & it amazes me that people still use them.

13. I don’t feel very comfortable in large groups & I hate crowds. Yet I love teaching or speaking in front of an audience if it’s about a subject I enjoy, & I’m not afraid to share my opinion in staff meetings at work.

14. I’m in my mid 20’s & I still go to a dermatologist for acne. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

15. I have never dyed my hair. Or had a perm. Or even gotten hi-lights (how do you even spell that?!). It’s a damn good thing I have naturally wavy hair that more or less styles itself or I would be screwed because I have no clue how to style hair & not much interest in learning. What could be more boring than standing in front of a mirror staring at myself?

16. I despise modern pop music. The lyrics are so superficial & vapid that it makes my head spin.

17. I prefer the mountains to the beach. And I have a hard time NOT checking my work email when I’m on vacation. I know, something is wrong with me. Clearly.

18. I never rode in a taxi until I was 19.

19. I don’t have cable TV. Growing up, I was so annoyed with my parents for not paying for cable TV because it meant I was always out of the loop at school. But now that I’m an adult I just can’t bring myself to spend $60-$80/month on something I care to watch so rarely.

19. I haven’t read Harry Potter, Twilight, or 50 Shades of Grey. But I have read a ton of other less popular books & I actually enjoyed reading the vast majority of my college textbooks. I know, I am such a nerd.

20. I really don’t like cooking. I don’t hate it by any means. But it just isn’t something that I enjoy. I wish I did. I really do. I have tried. But it just isn’t happening. Yet.

21. I over-think everything. Duh. Or I wouldn’t be posting this crap.

22. I am a perfectionist. And yet my house is only marginally organized & far from spotless. And half of the decorations in my house are stuffed animals. If that makes me creepy, so be it.

23. As you can tell from the above listed items, I’m a nerd. Yet I don’t like Star Wars, Star Trek, LOTR, or any of the “cool” nerd stuff. I don’t hate those things. I just don’t have any real interest in them.

24. I’ve never really liked children very much, & yet I can’t stop thinking about being a mom lately. What is wrong with me?!!

25. I don’t use Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, or Pinterest. But I do maintain this crazy blog because I love writing & it helps keep me sane.

As much as I’d love to say that I revel in being weird, I’m not sure that I do. Some days I do love all the crazy things that make me who I am. And other days like today I just feel like I’m destined to always be weird & unsure where I fit in life. Again, I know I over-think this stuff. Forgive me. To my friends who make me feel less weird & ridiculous, thank you. I always say I know I have found a true friend when I meet someone who makes me feel a little less crazy & a little more normal. Y’all know who you are & I am grateful for your friendship.

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