Do you ever have those days when you feel like you’re in high school all over again? Everyone seems hipper, cooler, trendier, prettier, & generally more interesting than you? I hope you don’t, but I know I still have those days from time to time. Today is one of them for whatever reason. This afternoon while I was sitting at the pool studying for my PCCN exam I started thinking about all the many reasons why I’m not cool, all the things that make me a nerd but not in the “cool” way. Here we go.
1. I can’t dive. I have tried so hard to learn but I just can’t do it.
2. I can’t use chopsticks. Seriously, was this a lesson in high school or college that I just inadvertently missed?
3. I don’t like sushi. I wish I did. Everyone who eats sushi looks so sophisticated & interesting. I have tried, but I just don’t like it.
4. I hate skinny jeans. If they were never in style again it would please me to no end. It stresses me out when I go to the Gap (or the Gap Outlet to be more precise) & have to struggle to find flare or boot cut jeans.
5. While we’re on the fashion subject, I hate pretty much all the clothes that are in style nowadays (for women). Most of them are so unflattering on anyone who isn’t a size 2. And let’s face it. I’ve lost 15 lbs this year but I will never be a size 2. And I don’t even want to be. I do sometimes like the clothes I see other girls wear & yet I think those same styles look ridiculous on me. It’s probably a good thing my work attire consists solely of scrubs. Oh, & I don’t wear stilettos because I can’t think of a good reason to voluntarily torture myself.
6. I think Coach bags are a sham. If I ever spend more than $50 on a purse, someone please take me to the hospital because that will be a sign I’m having a psychotic break.
7. I really don’t know how to use make-up. I am scared to death to use an eyelash curler & I’ve never successfully learned how to apply eyeliner.
8. I really don’t like going out for drinks. It’s over-priced & over-rated. I don’t hate it, but if I want to drink I would always rather do it at home or at a friend’s apt/house. It just feels more relaxed. I know that makes me old & boring but it’s the truth. Don’t get me wrong. I love hanging out with friends & don’t mind a bit if other people want to drink more than me. It’s just not my thing most of the time.
9. I hate treadmills. In fact I really don’t enjoy any kind of cardio other than hiking (in the mountains) & soccer, neither of which I can do whenever I please. But I do force myself to use the treadmill anyway.
10. I would rather eat a juicy burger than a crisp, healthy salad any day of the week. I hate going out to eat & ordering just a salad. It feels like such a waste.
11. For basically as long as I can remember, people have always thought I am older than I am. I remember being a freshman in college & so many people thought I was a senior. Nowadays instead of people asking “Are you married?,” they often ask “Do you have kids?” I always want to tell them I’m not old enough to have kids & then I remember that technically I am.
12. I refuse to use self-tanner or tanning beds. I have no problem with other people using self-tanner but I just don’t like “faking” my skin color even if it means being ungodly pale in the winter. Tanning beds of course are carcinogenic & it amazes me that people still use them.
13. I don’t feel very comfortable in large groups & I hate crowds. Yet I love teaching or speaking in front of an audience if it’s about a subject I enjoy, & I’m not afraid to share my opinion in staff meetings at work.
14. I’m in my mid 20’s & I still go to a dermatologist for acne. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.
15. I have never dyed my hair. Or had a perm. Or even gotten hi-lights (how do you even spell that?!). It’s a damn good thing I have naturally wavy hair that more or less styles itself or I would be screwed because I have no clue how to style hair & not much interest in learning. What could be more boring than standing in front of a mirror staring at myself?
16. I despise modern pop music. The lyrics are so superficial & vapid that it makes my head spin.
17. I prefer the mountains to the beach. And I have a hard time NOT checking my work email when I’m on vacation. I know, something is wrong with me. Clearly.
18. I never rode in a taxi until I was 19.
19. I don’t have cable TV. Growing up, I was so annoyed with my parents for not paying for cable TV because it meant I was always out of the loop at school. But now that I’m an adult I just can’t bring myself to spend $60-$80/month on something I care to watch so rarely.
19. I haven’t read Harry Potter, Twilight, or 50 Shades of Grey. But I have read a ton of other less popular books & I actually enjoyed reading the vast majority of my college textbooks. I know, I am such a nerd.
20. I really don’t like cooking. I don’t hate it by any means. But it just isn’t something that I enjoy. I wish I did. I really do. I have tried. But it just isn’t happening. Yet.
21. I over-think everything. Duh. Or I wouldn’t be posting this crap.
22. I am a perfectionist. And yet my house is only marginally organized & far from spotless. And half of the decorations in my house are stuffed animals. If that makes me creepy, so be it.
23. As you can tell from the above listed items, I’m a nerd. Yet I don’t like Star Wars, Star Trek, LOTR, or any of the “cool” nerd stuff. I don’t hate those things. I just don’t have any real interest in them.
24. I’ve never really liked children very much, & yet I can’t stop thinking about being a mom lately. What is wrong with me?!!
25. I don’t use Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, or Pinterest. But I do maintain this crazy blog because I love writing & it helps keep me sane.
As much as I’d love to say that I revel in being weird, I’m not sure that I do. Some days I do love all the crazy things that make me who I am. And other days like today I just feel like I’m destined to always be weird & unsure where I fit in life. Again, I know I over-think this stuff. Forgive me. To my friends who make me feel less weird & ridiculous, thank you. I always say I know I have found a true friend when I meet someone who makes me feel a little less crazy & a little more normal. Y’all know who you are & I am grateful for your friendship.