music

Best Albums of 2025


I’ve I’m being perfectly honest, 2025 has not been the best year for me. The world has frequently felt coldhearted, angry, & bleak. HOWEVER, it has been an EXCELLENT year for music, so much so that I don’t think I can choose ONE top album for the year. Trust me, I have tried! I have waffled between at least four of these but can never land on any one of them because they are all so damn good. In any case, I’d say that’s a good problem to have. So without further ado & in particular order, here are my choices for the best albums of 2025. Yes, these are all rock/metal. Sorry- not sorry!

  • Violent Nature by I Prevail: Oh man, where to start with this one? I have probably listened to this album straight through more than any other album this year. So maybe it does deserve to be my top choice. In any case, like many fans, I wasn’t sure what to expect when Brian, the former clean vocalist, left the group earlier this year. Initially I feared that the band was doomed. Thankfully my fears proved to be completely unfounded as the band released this album which is, in my opinion, their best work to date. From the creepy sound of opener Synthetic Soul to heavy hitters such as Violent Nature (the first single) & God, this is an album you simply cannot afford to miss. It’s also an album that truly deserves to be listened to from top to bottom. You can’t fully appreciate all the highs & lows if you just listen to the singles here & there. The most surprising track on the album is the incredibly gorgeous acoustic piece Crimson & Clover. Lyrically it’s a tearjerker & musically it proves that Eric has a much more versatile voice than we previously knew. I for one cannot wait to hear some of these songs live next year. (I’ll be seeing them in March.)
  • Set It Off by Set It Off: Last year I included a number of the songs from this album under my best EPs for 2024 because I wasn’t sure if the band was going to release a true EP or album, but I loved so many of them that I felt like I had to recognize them somehow. As it turns out, the guys were able to release their first album as an independent band this year, & it is absolutely brilliant. My favorite of the non singles is Worst Case Scenarios which I had the pleasure of hearing live a few weeks ago when I saw the band on the final night of their self-titled headlining tour. Other favorites include Punching Bag, the song that started it all for me with this band (when it hit Octane); Evil People; Fake Ass Friends; & Creating Monsters. The latter features a reference to the classic swing song It Don’t Mean a Thing If It Ain’t Got That Swing with Cody playing his clarinet. The band found a way to marry jazz & metal, & it’s absolutely as chaotic & amazing as you’d expect. Another beautiful thing about this album is that it has encouraged me to check out some of the band’s older work. I’ve now listened to all of Duality from 2014 & am obsessed with that album too. It’s also really fun to see how the band has evolved over the years, especially since the guys are the same age as I am.
  • Everest by Halestorm: It’s a fact as plain as the sky is blue that Halestorm has never released a bad album, but this one just might be their best yet. The band is wearing their 80s influences on their sleeves here, & I for am am here for it. Don’t miss the bluesy vocals & guitar solo on Like A Woman Can (which also has an excellent video) or the gorgeous ballad Darkness Always Wins. I was lucky enough to see Halestorm live this summer (for the sixth time) so I got to hear almost half this album live before it actually debuted, including songs like Watch Out & Fallen Star. The title track Everest is another stunner. Oh yeah, did I mention the album artwork? It’s easily my favorite for the year.
  • The Sky, the Earth, & All Between by Architects: I am seriously late to the game with Architects as I only got into them when Seeing Red came out last year. As it turned out that was just one of many stellar tracks from this, their 11th album. I especially love the way the album starts off with Elegy, coming in like a ballad but then becoming incredibly heavy. And if that isn’t heavy enough for you it’s immediately followed by two serious bangers in Whiplash & Blackhole. Yep, now I know why so many of my favorite bands list Architects as such a massive influence/inspiration.
  • Antifragile by All That Remains: Vocalist Phil Labonte & I might not agree on politics much these days, but I’ll always love his music. We didn’t know it at the time but this was the final ATR record featuring Jason Richardson on lead guitar, & let’s just say he definitely went out with a bang. If you’re looking for a good gym album, look no further. From Divine to Kerosene to Forever Cold to many more, there isn’t a bad track here, just banger after banger after banger.
  • The Place After This One by Underoath: Ok, I am SUPER late to the game with this band (20 years!) but hey, better late than never, right? I got intrigued by this album when I All the Love Is Gone kept popping up on Octane. With the almost Motionless In White style intro to the infectious chorus, I knew I had to give this album a further listen. Starting off with Generation No Surrender, this album just never lets up- nor lets you down. Survivor’s Guilt is an incredibly catchy song that sounds quite upbeat but was actually inspired by vocalist Spencer Chamberlain’s guilt over surviving his own drug addiction when so many of his friends didn’t. This is another great gym album but perhaps my favorite thing about this album is just the fact that it led me to the band itself. I have spent hours & hour listening to podcasts with Spencer, Aaron Gillespie, & Tim McTague this year, & it has been so incredibly validating for me to hear their life stories & experiences, particularly with religion. I have so much in common with these guys that sometimes hearing them tell their stories feels like hearing someone tell my own. I know that must sound crazy because I am not a rock star, nor even a man, but it’s true all the same.
  • This Consequence by Killswitch Engage: I got into this album after hearing I Believe & The Fall of Us on both Octane & Liquid Metal. I Believe feels like an especially important song in the dark political climate we’re facing these days. Like the previous two choices, this is another fantastic gym album filled with loads of fun guitar work.
  • New Addiction by The Haunt: I was lucky enough to discover The Haunt several years ago when I saw them open for The Hu. I had never even heard of them before that night but they won me over immediately. This is a brother & sister band out of Florida who are very young but very talented. Lead vocalist Anastasia might be small but her voice is BIG. There isn’t a bad song here but my favorites are Claws, Teeth, & Dead 2 Me. My only complaint is that every song is 3 minutes or less. I’d love to see the band extend some of these pieces a bit. Having said that, I’ve still listened to this album from top to bottom many, many times so clearly it’s not a huge problem.
  • The Ugly Side of Me by Tetrarch: Tetrarch are high on my list of must-see bands for 2026, especially after this album. My favorite here is Live Not Fantasize but I’m also very partial to Never Again (Parasite) which features lead guitarist Diamond Rowe singing lead vocals for the first time on one of the verses. We need more of this! Diamond is a phenomenal guitarist but it turns out she’s got some pipes too.
  • Unatoned by Machine Head: I was super late to discover this band but their previous album absolutely won me over. I was lucky enough to see them live this year, so I got to hear hits like Unbound, Outsider, & Bonescraper. The ending track Scorn is perhaps the closest to a ballad that we may ever get from Machine Head &,if you ask me, it’s one of their most well-written songs to date. Robb Flynn absolutely nailed the state of the world here: “I’ve lost faith in everyone, follow no more/My heroes have failed me, they look down on me with their/Scorn/Paranoia seeps through every pore/Scorn.” Furthermore I love that the album artwork & font feel like a direct continuation of the previous album.
  • Face in the Mirror by James & the Cold Gun: Here’s yet another band I discovered by hearing them live. This is a Welsh band that I got the pleasure of seeing open for Highly Suspect in January. In my opinion, they stole the show. Guessing Games & Above the Lake are my favorites here but it’s a great album all around, & in my opinion the band sounds even better live than on the album. They have an energy that just begs to be witnessed. Oh, did I mention they have 3 fantastic singers? Above the Lake actually features lead guitarist James Biss on lead vocals, while bassist Gaby provides gorgeous backing vocals on many of the tracks. P.S. If you’re familiar with Holding Absence, another Welsh band, you may recognize lead vocalist James Joseph as a former member of HA. (Yes, the band name is inspired by having 2 guys named James.)
  • Afterglow by Sleep Theory: It’s hard to believe this is Sleep Theory’s first real album because they’ve already had so many hits. And what a debut it is. Perhaps my favorite thing about Sleep Theory is how they make use of the vocal talents of not only front man Cullen Moore but also guitarist Daniel Pruitt & bassist Paolo Vergara. Numb is the first song I ever heard by this band & it made me an immediate fan. Other stand-out tracks include the R&B style Gravity, plus Fallout & III. The band promised this would be a “no skip” album- & they delivered. Epic album artwork here too.
  • Sanguivore II: Mistress of Death by Creeper: Here’s yet another band I discovered live. I found the English band Creeper when they opened for Black Veil Brides on the Bleeders tour in 2023. If you’re too young to actually remember the 80s (like me) but still love the sound of that decade, this album is for you, especially if you also love a gothic aesthetic. My favorites here are Blood Magick (It’s a Ritual) & Headstones.
  • Don’t Go in the Forest by Avatar: Continuing the theme of bands I discovered live, here’s Avatar who I discovered when I saw them open for Trivium back in 2018. I’ve been a diehard fand ever since. This album, like all Avatar albums, is as unique as the band’s circus themed stage attire/makeup. I mean what other metal band starts an album with a piccolo solo? That’s what Avatar did here with Tonight We Must be Warriors, the band’s call to stand up against fascism across the globe. Captain Goat is a metal version of a sea shanty & comes with a fantastically fun music video that features bassist Henrik as a mermaid- err, merman, that is. Speaking of Henrik, his bass solo that starts off Death & Glitz is absolutely brilliant. I mean, what’s not to love about 5 nerdy Swedish guys who love metal, classical music, & find ways to write songs that question society’s fascination with murdered women, as they do here?
  • Creature in the Black Night by Dayseeker: This has to have been one of the most anticipated albums of the year, after the success of the band’s previous album Dark Sun, & it did not disappoint. From lead single Pale Moonlight to Crawl Back to My Coffin & many more, this album is replete with Rory Rodriguez’s gorgeous cleans as well as a decent amount of his commanding growls. It’s dark, it’s sexy, & it’s sure to keep the band growing even more. The music videos for this album are also top notch, as is the album artwork.
  • Angels Calling by Solence: I discovered this Swedish band on Octane’s test drive a year or two ago & have been eagerly awaiting this album ever since. I’m even more eagerly awaiting the chance to see the band live because it’s obvious their energy would be extremely fun to witness. I mean, they have a keytar player- need I say more? Where Were You? & Wish You the Worst are my favorites here.
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  • Dilworth by Jutes: Jutes has been all the rage lately & with good reason. The title of the first song (Left on Dilworth) is brilliant, as it’s an homage to the street Jutes grew up on in rural Canada (you had to turn left on the street to reach his family’s house), but it also has the dual meaning of what he left behind on that street/in that town. Love it. Other favorites include Parasite & It Takes Two. When it comes to sexy metal, Jutes is giving Dayseeker, Sleep Token, & Bad Omens a serious run for their money. (Side note, he’s Demi Lovato’s husband- they got married in May.)

EPs

  • Shock to the System: Part 2 by Daughtry: I’ve loved Daughtry’s music since high school, back when he was on American Idol, but his newer music from the past 5 years or so is his best work yet, if you ask me. I had the pleasure of hearing The Day I Die live this year, & whew, it’s a powerful one. Terrified & Antidote are also very powerful. The latter is a real tearjerker because it was inspired by the loss of Daughtry’s daughter to suicide.
  • Struck Dead by Trivium: Sadly this turned out to be the last Trivium album featuring drummer Alex Bent, but boy, did he go out with a bang. Bury Me With My Screams never ceases to amaze me. Definitely one of my favorite Trivium songs ever (& they have a phenomenal catalog).
  • Don’t Look Down by Nate Vickers: Nate has one of those voices that could make the ABCs sound brilliant. Every song here is gorgeous but Falling Away From Heaven is my favorite. It’s the kind that you can go days or even weeks without hearing but it’ll still be stuck in your head. Then of course you have to go listen to it again & wonder how you stayed away so long.

Most Anticipated Albums for 2026

Some of these have been truly confirmed, while others have just been discussed, but I feel reasonably sure they will be released based on the number of singles already released &/or on what the bands have said about the work they’re doing on new music.

  • Alter Bridge (self titled)- coming 1/9/26
  • The Funeral Potrait
  • Shinedown
  • Black Veil Brides
  • Catch Your Breath
  • Celebrate (EP) by Black Stone Cherry- coming 3/6/26
  • The Pretty Reckless
  • Electric Callboy
  • Motionless in White
  • Ice Nine Kills
  • From Ashes to New
  • TX2
  • Bad Omens
  • Silent Planet
  • Nothing More
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Best Songs of 2025


It’s that time of year- time for my annual best of the year posts for music! As always, I remind my readers that I am by no means a professional music reviewer or journalist & that because of my own musical preferences these lists will always be strongly biased toward rock/metal.

This post will serve to recognize my favorite songs of 2025 that are strictly singles (not part of any album) or that are part of albums that didn’t make my best albums list (that post is forthcoming). Some of my favorites have been purposely omitted because I know they will feature on 2026 albums that are sure to land on my best albums list for next year (e.g. Silent Divide by Alter Bridge, Hallelujah by Black Veil Brides).

THESE ARE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER.

We’ll start off with my favorites COLLABORATIONS for the year.

  • The Fountain by Bernth/Brandon Acker: I owe a massive thanks to Jared Dines (YouTuber extraordinaire) for introducing me to both of these extremely talented gentlemen via his Jam House series. Bernth is an Austrian guitarist who moved to L.A. this year & is mainly known for metal guitar. Brandon Acker is from Wisconsin & is a true classical guitarist, who is also a master of several very old-fashioned plucked instruments such as the theorbo (thank you, Brandon, for introducing me to such a cool instrument!). These two are both absolute masters of their craft as is evidenced by the fact that they wrote this piece together in a very impromptu fashion, & the recording you hear here is literally only their second time playing it. Absolute geniuses, both of them! And the mutual respect they have for each other is a joy to behold. Even just watching their hands is entertaining. //www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGlO3-eBgOQ&list=RDyGlO3-eBgOQ&start_radio=1
  • Bite My Tongue by Halocene ft Lucas Woodland (of Holding Absence): I had heard of Halocene for years but only just got into them this year when I saw them open for Fame on Fire back in April. Since then they have released two fantastic collabs. This one also has a great video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwuJdrzqrSA&list=RDYwuJdrzqrSA&start_radio=1
  • Euphoria by Halocene ft Bryan Kuznitz (of Fame on Fire): The second of the aforementioned Halocene collabs, this one features Bryan from Fame on Fire, with whom, as I said, they toured earlier this year. Though Halocene do some amazing covers, their original music is also phenomenal & they deserve so much more credit than they get. Beyond their musical abilities, I really admire that Addie & Brad have continued to work together so well despite their divorce. When I saw them in April & even met them after the show, I actually had no idea they were no longer together. That speaks to how well they have handled the dissolution of their romantic relationship without allowing the band to dissolve. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-pOWioa3uo&list=RDv-pOWioa3uo&start_radio=1
  • End of You by Poppy/Courtney LaPlante/Amy Lee: With three fantastic lead vocalists, there was never any doubt that this collab would be amazing. And we were not left disappointed. Having said that, ideally I would have liked a little more of Courtney’s screams, but hey, maybe they can do another one featuring her more prominently (this one is definitely more Amy). This has a great music video as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rS83uI0Wak&list=RD3rS83uI0Wak&start_radio=1
  • Break the Silence by Nevertel/Sleep Theory: This is a true band collab- it’s not just lead vocalist Cullen Moore from Sleep Theory who is featured here- it’s ALL of Sleep Theory. Fun video too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qcp17QPN72Q&list=RDQcp17QPN72Q&start_radio=1
  • God Is A Weapon by Falling in Reverse ft Marilyn Manson: If you follow Ronnie Radke, you probably saw this one coming, as he had been teasing pictures of himself & Manson for a while before this song debuted. Yes, they are both controversial artists whom no one is under any obligation to support, but viewed objectively, it’s impossible to deny the talent they both have. Ronnie’s falsettos have never sounded so insane (in a good way). This is a what I call a slow burn- the song honestly feels more like a Manson song than a FIR song up until the end. Furthermore, on first listen I was kind of lukewarm about it but after a few more listens I fell deeply in love. Also, can we talk about how good Manson looks & sounds now that he’s several years sober? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqJurrQKNdE&list=RDxqJurrQKNdE&start_radio=1
  • Never Met Anyone Like You by Ella Langley ft Hardy: This is one cleverly written country song. It starts out sounding like a love song. I won’t spoil it for you if you don’t know it, but let’s just say there is definitely a twist here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdLcgh6NYUI&list=RDFdLcgh6NYUI&start_radio=1
  • Teeth Marks by Keith Wallen ft Haley Roughton (of Gore): Keith Wallen is best known as one of the guitarists of Breaking Benjamin (before that he was with Adelitas Way). However, he also releases his own solo music. This song featuring Haley from the band Gore is particularly great. Haley’s voice is epic, so basically anything she touches is gold. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auThnhvmIiQ&list=RDauThnhvmIiQ&start_radio=1
  • My Only Angel by Aerosmith ft Yungblud: Talk about a catchy piece, this one will get stuck in your head in no time. Yungblud was the perfect addition to make Aerosmith sound fresh & young again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74mV9qwlCgg&list=RD74mV9qwlCgg&start_radio=1
  • Weirdo by The Rasmus ft Lee Jennings (of The Funeral Portrait): I have TFP to thank for introducing me to the Finnish band The Rasmus, as The Rasmus were one of the openers for TFP on TFP’s headlining show that I saw in Greensboro in May of this year (easily one of the best nights of my life). Considering TFP has a song called Stay Weird (one of my all time favorites), Lee was the perfect feature for this song. What’s also really cool is that The Rasmus have now brought TFP out as an opener on their own headlining tour across Europe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyztNT2OEGA&list=RDDyztNT2OEGA&start_radio=1
  • The End of Us by TX2 ft Andy Biersack (of Black Veil Brides): TX2 has had a similar trajectory to Andy’s BVB in the sense of being someone that people either absolutely love or absolutely hate. It’s perhaps been even more vicious of an experience for TX2 due to the proliferation of social media. In any case, it warms my heart to see Andy supporting TX2 in this brilliant collab. Their voices mix perfectly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt8XWy-1dWo&list=RDqt8XWy-1dWo&start_radio=1

Next up the singles, again in no particular order (other than the first five).

  • The Girl You Left by Jordan Rainer: I had the great serendipity to discover Jordan Rainer through Instagram this year- sometimes those suggested posts actually get it right! I am very picky about country music but Jordan’s is exactly the kind I love. This was easily my most played song of the year, on multiple platforms. While Jordan has been very open about this being a divorce anthem inspired by her own life, I relate to it in a very different way. For me it’s about the conservative Christian culture I grew up in & how I feel abandoned by that culture. Perhaps it’s more accurate to say that I left that culture than that it left me, but the point remains the same- I’m not the girl I once was & I am so proud of that. It’s an absolute crime that this song isn’t wildly popular because it is SO. DAMN. GOOD. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3Etale0pLM&list=RDQ3Etale0pLM&start_radio=1
  • Evergreen & Skinny Lies by The Funeral Portrait: I’ve waxed on & on about this band so many times but I’ll never tire of evangelizing about them & trying to win more devotees to the Coffin Crew. These are both bonus songs that were released with the deluxe addition of the band’s 2024 album, the deluxe edition being released this year. Skinny Lies is heavier & extremely catchy, while Evergreen is more of a ballad & was principally written by guitarist/keyboardist Caleb. The lyrics are very personal to him, & the video which shows various behind the scenes clips of the band has become a favorite of mine. Skinny Lies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_2w7kEG-60&list=RD2_2w7kEG-60&start_radio=1 & Evergreen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exDJBs3kOYY&list=RDexDJBs3kOYY&start_radio=1
  • Popsicle by Lilith Czar: Formerly known by her legal name Juliet Simms, Lilith has rebranded over the past few years & embraced a grittier side of herself which I absolutely adore. This song is such an empowering piece that reflects on her experiences in the music industry, particularly as a woman in a male-dominated industry. The title of the song reflects a time when a record label wanted her to pose on a popsicle as part of an album or song promo. She refused. But it made great inspiration for this song which showcases both her incredible clean vocals as well as her guttural screams. Lyrics like this cut deep: “I had to let you think I ate out of the palm of your hand/Cause if you had your way/I’d be naked, starved, with nothing to say/Is it really all that you see?/So frozen & weak/I’d be riding on a popsicle in your fever dream/Turn me into something I’m not/A beautiful fraud/I melt in the silence/The payback is violent.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HN8ANpnyiJY&list=RDHN8ANpnyiJY&start_radio=1
  • Pain On A Chain by Speed Of Light: I have The Warning to thank for introducing me to this extremely young but extremely talented band out of southern California. Like The Warning, the band is made up all of siblings. And like The Warning, their talent belies their age. I think the oldest member is 20 years old. So yes, they are YOUNG but they are one of the best live acts I’ve ever seen. Riley’s vocals are nothing short of viciously powerful- in the best possible way. The emotion she manages to convey while also holding it down on bass is very impressive. I was lucky enough to meet the band’s mom at the merch table after the show, & I thanked her for letting her kids travel the country introducing folks like me to such amazing songs. It truly gives me hope in this dark world to see teenagers embracing old school guitar-based music like this. Seriously, CHECK THEM OUT. And never miss the opening band! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q73qTzV2rKM&list=RDq73qTzV2rKM&start_radio=1
  • More Than Hate by Bilmuri: This is the song that finally brought me into the Bilmuri fan club. His former bandmate Caleb Shomo of Beartooth has been singing his praises for years, & now I know why. What a brilliant songwriter/performer Johnny Franck truly is! And his music videos? Oh man, I had been missing out. He somehow makes the simplest, lowest budget ideas turn into pure magic. A man who never takes himself too seriously but takes his music very seriously, this is a guy to watch for sure. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzONJQRHtj0&list=RDBzONJQRHtj0&start_radio=1
  • Undertow by Twist It: I have Octane to think for introducing me to this young band out of Philadelphia. This one is an instant ear worm that never gets old. Side note, I love that the singer isn’t afraid to just be herself & wear her glasses. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fu0me4168zs&list=RDFu0me4168zs&start_radio=1
  • Ain’t Enough Cowboy Songs by Ashley McBryde: Switch up- time for a country song! The fiddle really adds to the sad note of this piece. It’s absolutely perfect in every way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eg3q7jcDWrQ&list=RDeg3q7jcDWrQ&start_radio=1
Lacuna Coil during Wacken Open Air at The Holy Wacken Land, Wacken, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany on 2022-08-05, Photo: Sven Mandel
  • Behelit by Slaughter To Prevail: The combination of orchestral parts with Alex’s insane growls is astonishing. Need I say more? I think not. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Cz-GLCQ1I0&list=RD0Cz-GLCQ1I0&start_radio=1
  • Fade Out by Kami Kehoe: Like so many other artists, I found Kami thanks to Octane. What a gorgeously haunting & powerful voice she has. I look forward to hearing more from her. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pJNX4tCmc0&list=RD0pJNX4tCmc0&start_radio=1
  • 2 Liter Spite by Point North: Let me be brutally honest- the first time I saw this come on Octane, I read Spite as Sprite & thought “How dumb is that, naming a song after a bottle of soda? Please.” HOWEVER, once I actually heard the song a few times, I couldn’t help but love it. Then I realized I was the one in the wrong because the title is 2 Liter SPITE, not Sprite. Ha!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDgfIqEDMTs&list=RDBDgfIqEDMTs&start_radio=1
  • Why by Plush: Plush absolutely nailed the state of the world when Moriah sings “Every time I open my eye/I bear witness to the endless suffering/Horrified by the monsters we’ve become/I’m beginning to realize/We’re a cancer consuming everything/Doing damage that cannot be undone/Oh/And I don’t know why/We’re allowed to survive/And I don’t know why we’re alive/Tell me, why/And I don’t know why/Our humanity has died.” Indeed, when I read the news, when I see the heartless comments people leave on social media, that’s exactly what I ask myself… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkvS2ktr3Do&list=RDpkvS2ktr3Do&start_radio=1
  • Dead Throne by Arankai: This is the solo project of Oscar, the bassist & harsh vocalist for Archers. I hope he doesn’t leave Archers but this song definitely proves he has lead singer energy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2Jsbg7pm6E&list=RDA2Jsbg7pm6E&start_radio=1
  • The Spell by Mammoth: For those who aren’t aware, Mammoth is the project of Wolfgang Van Halen, son of none other than Eddie Van Halen. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, as this song proves. Wolfgang writes & performs all the parts on his albums: guitars, vocals, drums, bass- you name it, he does it. This is definitely a guy I need to see live. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIP20TMlOHs&list=RDQIP20TMlOHs&start_radio=1
  • Caramel by Sleep Token: Ok, ok, I’ve finally gotten into Sleep Token- sort of. I know that many of my favorite bands & most of my fellow metalheads love this band, but for some reason I just have a hard time with them. Objectively I respect their talent but I simply haven’t vibed with them the way most people do. Having said that, this song is definitely pure magic. The music box motif at the beginning is brilliant, especially since it returns at the end- after the unexpected black metal ish breakdown. I knew the song was about the band’s complicated relationship with fame, but at first I was confused by the title of the song. However, then I saw someone explain it like this (I’m paraphrasing): everyone loves the sweet taste of caramel but no one likes the sticky residue it leaves behind on your hands. Brilliant! With lyrics like this, I can’t deny the genius of this song: “The sweetest dreams are bitter/But there’s no one left to tell/Too young to get bitter over it all/Too old to retaliate like before/Too blessed to be caught ungrateful, I know/So I’ll keep dancing along to the rhythm/This stage is a prison, a beautiful nightmare/A war of attrition, I’ll take what I’m given/The deepest incisions, I thought I got better/But maybe I didn’t.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iSvoQNfrrk&list=RD4iSvoQNfrrk&start_radio=1

As soon as I post this, I’m sure I’m going to think of songs I forgot. But for now, those are my choices for best songs of the year. It was truly an excellent year for music, so there was much to choose from. Be sure to stay tuned for my upcoming post re best albums of the year!

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The Mysterious Appeal of Morgan Wallen

FILE - In this June 5, 2019, file photo, Morgan Wallen arrives at the CMT Music Awards on at the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, Tenn. Wallen has been arrested after police say he threw a chair off the rooftop of a newly opened six-story bar in downtown Nashville. Wallen, 30, was booked into jail early Monday, April 8, 2024 on three felony counts of reckless endangerment and one misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct, Metro Nashville Police tweeted. (AP Photo/Sanford Myers, File)

If you’ve been following this blog for a while or know me in real life, then you should know that I’m anything but a trend follower. Half the time I’m not even aware of what the latest trends ARE, be they fashion, music, TV, or anything else. However, one trend I am aware of is country singer Morgan Wallen. To be fair, at this point I guess he isn’t even a trend anymore because he’s been famous long enough to be an established part of the genre. As I’ve said, I can’t be arsed to follow most trends myself, but I do find the psychology behind them quite fascinating, especially when it comes to music. I may not always LIKE music, TV shows, or other things that become popular in our society but I can usually understand on some level why many other people do.

Morgan Wallen, an American country music artist performs his hit single “Whiskey Glasses” during Freedom Fest, June 28, 2019, at the Iron Horse Park, Fort Carson, Colorado. Freedom Fest was a three day festival featuring carnival rides, food trucks, concerts and fireworks in celebration of Independence Day. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Robert Vicens)

Taylor Swift & Beyonce are great examples of this. I do enjoy a fair amount of Taylor Swift songs. Pieces like Back to December, All Too Well, & Mean are incredibly well written, timeless songs that anyone should be able to recognize as genius. She’s also well known for paying her employees well & generally being a decent person despite her insane celebrity status. I know less about Beyonce because I don’t follow her genre of music at all, but from what little I’ve heard of her work, she is clearly talented, not to mention gorgeous. So while I may not be a full blown “Swiftie” nor a member of the “Bey Hive,” I can still understand on some level why others are.

But Morgan Wallen’s appeal is a whole other story. I just can’t wrap my mind around it. I’ll confess a couple of years ago I wanted to dismiss him as nothing but white trash, especially after the infamous N word incident from 2021. At that point I didn’t know any of his songs so it was very easy for me to say “Screw him.” A couple of years went by & I happened across his song One Thing At A Time while driving one day. Let me be the first to say I did not WANT to like it. But I couldn’t help myself- I had to admit it was a very well written song! I’ve since heard several others of his, & while I don’t think I’ll ever be a FAN, I have to confess that he IS a good songwriter. His voice is nothing special, if you ask me, but songs like Last Night & I’m the Problem again showcase good songwriting skills.

While good songwriting is ultimately the most important thing for a musician, it takes a lot more than that to be a true STAR. And I guess what I don’t understand is how Morgan Wallen has become exactly that, not just a good songwriter but a STAR. I mean, this is a guy who has been arrested for drunken episodes on multiple different occasions, his most recent being when he threw a chair off of a roof in May 2024. If he were a black guy who did the exact same thing, I have a strong feeling that a large percentage of Wallen’s fanbase would immediately deem him a worthless thug. But somehow Wallen gets a pass… I cannot be the only one thinking this, right? What’s more, it’s not just your typical bro country dudes who love Wallen. Most of the time when I see people sharing his music, it’s actually women! If he were drop dead gorgeous, I’d understand it a little better, but this is a pasty looking white dude with a MULLET. At the risk of sounding superficial, the mullet is the world’s absolute worst haircut & I don’t care how attractive a man is otherwise, a mullet effectively ruins it. And no offence, but Wallen wasn’t exactly attractive to begin with. Of course it’s always possible that my idea of what’s attractive is wildly different than the average woman. So maybe I’m the odd (wo)man out here…

Now, don’t get me wrong- musicians don’t NEED to be attractive. I would just understand Wallen’s mass appeal more if he looked like Spencer Charnas from Ice Nine Kills or Andy Biersack from Black Veil Brides. If y’all aren’t familiar with these two incredibly talented gentleman, who also happen to be decidedly gorgeous, well, do yourselves a favor & look them up right now. (But don’t just look at them- listen to their music too.)

People are fan-girling over this dude- I’m so confused….

Now I’ll be the first to admit that a lot of the musicians I love are far from saints. Many are recovered addicts/alcoholics &, as we all know, people in the throes of addiction/alcoholism frequently do some terrible things. So I’m sure there are people who wonder why I like the stuff I like too, & not just because of previous addiction issues. For example, just this past weekend I saw one of my favorite bands The Funeral Portrait for the first time. It was an eclectic, electrifying show that sent chills down my spine & is still bringing a huge smile to my face days later. But there are plenty of people who might not like them either. I mean this is a band of 5 guys who all wear at least a little bit of makeup, dance & twirl around on stage in decidedly effeminate ways, & 2 of the members even kiss on stage during every show. One of those guys is engaged to a woman & the other has a long term serious girlfriend. So no, they aren’t dating & aren’t even gay. It’s just a thing they do, probably partly because they know it pisses some people off & that just makes them want to do it even more. I personally love that. But there are definitely people who don’t, & I feel sorry for those people in a way because they are missing out on some FANTASTIC music.

That was a bit of an aside, but what I’m getting is that I absolutely do believe in separating the art from the artist. A song can be written by someone who is far from saintly & still be a good song that helps a lot of people. We all have to decide where we want to draw the lines when we find out a musician or artist whose work we like isn’t the best person after all. For some that means never supporting their art ever again. I tend to fall more on the “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water” side, meaning I’ll still listen to the music but I won’t buy concert tickets or merch.

But back to the main subject here- Morgan Wallen. Do I think he is irredeemable because of his past? No. But I find his apologies surrounding his less than flattering incidents to be less than satisfying. And the fact that these things KEEP happening makes me think he’s probably a high functioning alcoholic who is at high risk of eventually ending up in some serious legal trouble. I mean, if a man is comfortable getting drunk & throwing chairs off a building IN PUBLIC, what he is doing at home when there are no cops or security cameras around? Something to think about…

Also, is it just me or has anyone else noticed that a common theme in Wallen’s music is toxic relationships with women? What’s more, in songs like I’m the Problem, despite the misleading title, he seems to be placing all the blame on the woman. Basically constantly making excuses for his own behavior & never owning up to his own issues. I don’t know about y’all but no matter what he looked like, that right there is a decidedly unattractive trait.

Now there are other country musicians whose fame may initially seem puzzling. Take Jelly Roll for example- a big dude with major face tattoos who is a former rapper & is very open about his past in prison. But I get why people like him- I like him too! He’s not a favorite of mine but I definitely respect him & his work. But Morgan Wallen? I just don’t get it, y’all. Clearly he has that IT factor, that je ne sais quoi, that has rocketed him from just another country singer to a true star. But for the life of me I don’t understand it. If y’all have figured it out, feel free to explain it. In the mean time, I’ll go back to The Funeral Portrait.

But damn if I don’t have I’m the Problem intermittently stuck in my head!! Ahhhhh!!!

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Best Songs of 2024


It’s that time of year, y’all! Time for my annual “Best Of” lists for both albums & singles. I used to just do albums but since the consumption of music is now heavily weighted toward streaming, many artists are focusing more on singles than albums. Part of me finds that sad but I also understand the logic & realize we must adapt with the times or else get left behind. In order not to ignore the many excellent songs that are either stand alone singles or on yet to be released albums (or are part of an album but I either didn’t love the rest of the album or never got around to checking it out), it only seems fair to make two different posts nowadays. Keep in mind that this post (& the forthcoming albums post) will be heavily weighted toward rock/metal since that’s my favorite genre of music. Also keep in mind that music is my favorite hobby but it IS just a hobby- I’m not a professional music reviewer with all the time in the world to check out every new album/song/artist. So without further ado, & in no particular order, here are my choices for best songs of 2024!

  • Bleeders by Black Veil Brides: It’s no secret that BVB is one of my all time favorite bands. I saw them live twice in 2024, which makes for a total of four times now, & I’d still pay to see them again in a heartbeat. I’ll never understand the hate they’ve received over the years because they are truly talented musicians. Bleeders was inspired by vocalist Andy Biersack’s obsession with Sweeney Todd, as you can easily tell by the incredibly well done music video. During the Bleeders tour this past Spring, Andy even had a microphone with an imitation razor blade on it to fit the Sweeney Todd theme. Genius. Did I mention this is one of the band’s heaviest songs to date? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AThcMJmiTXI&ab_channel=BVBArmyVEVO
  • Paralyzed by Sleep Theory: This quartet from Memphis can seriously do no wrong. These guys have never made a bad song but this might be their best one yet. It does an excellent job of, at various times, featuring all 3 vocalists- lead singer Cullen Moore as well as bassist Paolo Vergara & guitarist Daniel Pruitt. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXK3zww_k6U&ab_channel=SleepTheory
  • The Emptiness Machine & Heavy Is the Crown by Linkin Park: Linkin Park was one of the first rock bands I ever liked but I cannot claim to be a “super fan.” Nonetheless I was intrigued to see the band make a return this year. To be perfectly honest, I haven’t checked out the full album yet but these two singles are without a doubt fantastic work (I’ve heard a few of the other songs & was less impressed with those). I for one am happy to see Emily take on the lead singer role in such an iconic band for my generation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRXH9AbT280&ab_channel=LinkinPark
  • Mud by Dorothy: Ah, Dorothy, yet another artist who is incapable of producing a bad song. But I’ll confess that her last album or two didn’t speak to me the way her first two albums did. This song, however, is probably my favorite of hers to date. It’s heavy, it’s fun, it’s incredibly catchy, & it features some killer screams from Dorothy. What’s not to love? As the lyrics say ” You ain’t living life ’til you’re down in the mud/Now if your crown ain’t bent & your halo ain’t crooked/You might as well be six feet in dirt, yeah/Some call it danger, some call it trouble/I call it digging deep without a shovel.” Yes, girl!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBmbb2d84VE&ab_channel=DOROTHYVEVO
  • Rockstar by Hardy: I’ll also confess that Hardy’s 2024 album just didn’t do it for me like his previous album did. But this song is a certified banger. And the music video is brilliant, featuring Hardy & his band dressed up as & paying homage to various classic bands, everything from AC/DC to Queen to Limp Bizkit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQ_xpKAjOS8&ab_channel=HARDYVEVO
  • Indifferent by Megan Moroney: I don’t keep up with modern country very well but I did come across this song this year & was immediately impressed. From what I can tell, it’s the ladies who are doing the best work on the country side of things these days. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwbSy6Wr0kE&ab_channel=MeganMoroneyVEVO
  • Creating Monsters & Fake Ass Friends by Set It Off: Set It Off have been going strong for over a decade but I was late to the game & only discovered them through Octane in 2023. They had multiple fantastic releases that year & did the same this year. Creating Monsters honors vocalist Cody’s jazz background & even pays homage to the classic tune It Don’t Mean a Thing If It Ain’t Got That Swing. Former band geeks like me, yes, you will swoon when you hear it! Fake Ass Friends is incredibly catchy & now that I’ve seen SIO in concert, I can attest that both songs go hard live. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9vQw1cB0MI&ab_channel=SetItOff
  • Live Not Fantasize by Tetrarch: Tetrarch is very open about being heavily influenced by nu metal & the likes of Korn & Slipknot. Those influences are very easy to hear in their music. What I love about Tetrarch is that I am more intrigued by their take on those influences than by the original bands (not that I don’t appreciate Korn & Slipknot- I do). This song might be their best release yet & has me very hungry for their upcoming album this year. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THNrPzS8I2M&ab_channel=NapalmRecords
  • A Banger a Day Keeps the Doctor Away by Solence: I discovered this song thanks to Octane’s test drive. I just happened to be driving when it came on & I was immediately entranced. Solence are a Swedish band who have plenty of serious songs but also aren’t afraid to cut loose & be silly – a la Electric Callboy. This song is a play on the old phrase “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” You absolutely MUST watch the music video to appreciate the full comedic value of the song. But don’t get me wrong, the MUSIC is seriously good too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-nZ9L057Js&ab_channel=BetterNoiseMusic
  • Hang Tight Honey by Lainey Wilson: Lainey’s album probably deserves a full listen- I really need to get around to that. But in the mean time, I can attest that this song is loads of fun. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIzEdmRgu14&ab_channel=LaineyWilson
  • Pray by Old Flame/Jonny Craig: Yes, Jonny Craig is a former addict who did some terrible things while addicted to heroin. BUT he has now maintained long term sobriety & shown true remorse for his previous sins, so I for one am happy to give him another chance. There’s nothing I like better than seeing people conquer their demons, & I truly believe Jonny is doing that. I actually never listened to any of his older music anyway. But his voice is no doubt stellar & this song does an excellent job of showcasing it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yU2uNfDpKKI&ab_channel=SBGRecords
  • Say What You Will by Myles Kennedy: Myles is another artist who can do no wrong if you ask me. Alter Bridge was one of the first rock bands I ever loved & are still a favorite of mine. However, this song comes from Myles’s solo album & it’s a great one for when you feel discouraged. Video is fun too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_LXR96kh9s&ab_channel=MylesKennedy
  • Soft Spine by Spiritbox: “Soft spine! You all deserve each other! Your god will sort you when you die!” Courtney held nothing back with the rage in this song, & I AM HERE FOR IT. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80VTmBAnTSE&ab_channel=riserecords
  • Ghost by Minute After Midnight: I know nothing about this band (or solo project?) but I discovered this song on Octane & have been addicted to it ever since. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZYUN3FDylA&ab_channel=%E9%A0%AD%E5%B4%A9%E5%A3%8A
  • New Way Out by Poppy: I have mixed feelings about Poppy but this song is a certified banger, no doubt about it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqVNYcaS-3E&ab_channel=Poppy
  • Pretend by The Plot In You: Here’s a band I’m only just now getting into, even though I know they’ve been around for a long time. If you’ve never listened to them before, this song is a good place to start. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlY8qK1A9Ls&ab_channel=FearlessRecords
  • Hollywood Forever by Hollywood Undead: Hollywood Undead is a band that I frankly did not take seriously until I saw them live in 2022. Suddenly I could not ignore their talent any longer. These guys put on an incredibly fun show that you should absolutely be sure to see someday if you haven’t. Their latest song features three full verses- each performed by a different band member- & reflects on their career, all the way from the dirty streets of LA to where they are today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0trg8w9Wtsw&ab_channel=HollywoodUndead
  • Going Places by Sick Puppies: 2009’s Tripolar by Sick Puppies was a phenomenal album but I’ll confess I’ve not followed them closely since then, especially once the original lead singer left the band. However, this song has me back in the fold, so to speak. I’ll be the first to admit that this was a slow burn for me. The first time or two I heard it, I honestly didn’t like it. But it kept getting stuck in my head & after a few more listens, I couldn’t help myself- it’s just fun! Also the second verse talks about growing up in a small town & longing for a bigger world- I can’t help but relate to that! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_tLQrNZyKk&ab_channel=SickPuppies
  • Good in Goodbye by Catch Your Breath: This one is a real tearjerker, something Catch Your Breath have quite a knack for it seems. It was partly inspired by the death of guitarist Teddy Herrera’s grandmother who was influential in supporting the band in their early days. Unfortunately Teddy was not able to get to Mexico to see her in person before she died. As the chorus says,
    • “Where’s the meaning in a heartbreak? Where’s the lesson in the loss? Darling, through all the pain what have we gained? ‘Cause I’m still searching for silver lines/ Maybe the scars you gave Make me strong one day Down the line/I guess I’m trying to find The good in goodbye.” Whew, heavy stuff.
  • Mayday by Three Days Grace: Say what you want about this band but they were definitely a gateway band for me & many others as teenagers/20 somethings. To have original vocalist Adam Gontier return to the band alongside current vocalist Matt Walst is something fans have been clamoring for for ages but never thought we’d actually see. With a bass line intro that is very reminiscent of their classic hit Animal I Have Become, this song is a new instant hit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5hWEa1w6Z8&ab_channel=ThreeDaysGraceVEVO
  • God’s Image & Bestrafe Mich by Mike’s Dead: Mike’s Dead is swiftly becoming a new favorite of mine. His voice & music remind me of both Marilyn Manson & Motionless in White, so obviously I can’t help but like him. But he’s by no means a copycat- don’t get me wrong. Check out any of his work & you’ll quickly see what I mean. Fair warning, both of these songs/videos are not for the faint of heart. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L8zhLGiUuw&ab_channel=MikesDeadVEVO
  • Nu Dehli by Bloodywood: Bloodywood have done it again- made another bloody brilliant song! This one honors the city of New Dehli, the capital of India. But yes, there are definitely some nu metal influences in this song, which I assume is why they spelled the title as they did. There’s plenty of their signature Indian flavors here too of course. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3C9NwGKgq4&ab_channel=Bloodywood
  • Whiplash by Architects: Architects are one of those bands that I constantly see other bands reference & yet I’ve never listened to them much myself. However, this song is one I can’t get away from since it debuted just a few months ago. Warning, it’s HEAVY- headbanging to it may indeed give you whiplash. It will be worth it though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c67cjKK_08M&rco=1&ab_channel=Architects
  • Kid of Darkness by Slaughter to Prevail: I have mixed feelings about this band but this song slaps. The guitars really do it for me. I don’t think I need to warn you that this one is heavy because that’s standard for this band. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNJtJrbFeWw&ab_channel=AlexTerrible
  • Sincerity by Butcher Babies: I’ve never gotten into this band before but this song has been all over Octane lately, & I’m loving it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b–E1yQAnkU&ab_channel=ButcherBabies
  • Bad Omen by The Haunt: I discovered this band a few years ago when I saw them open for The Hu. I adored them live but must confess that I often find their recordings to be a little too polished for my taste. They just don’t always capture the raw grit that I heard when I saw them live. Having said that, this song is phenomenal. Annabelle may be young & tiny but she has a BIG voice & they did a great job capturing it on this one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HAox__XprY&ab_channel=TheHaunt
  • Belly Up & Black Road by Return to Dust: If, like me, your favorite grunge band is Alice In Chains, boy, are you in for a treat with these guys! Not only does this band channel AIC with their guitar tones but the dual vocalists also create harmonies that are eerily reminiscent of Layne Staley & Jerry Cantrell. Shockingly, these guys are only in their early 20s. But their 90s influences are strong, & I couldn’t be more excited to see what the future holds for this band. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JAS6mXWKTk&ab_channel=ReturntoDustVEVO
  • Another Ghost by Upon A Burning Body: This is one of UABB’s softer songs in terms of the music/vocals but it’s one of their heavier songs in terms of the subject matter. The song was inspired by the opioid epidemic & is a touching testament to those who’ve been made ghosts by it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hMmXRiOUh0&ab_channel=UABBTV
  • Judas Mind by Seether: I’ve never followed Seether regularly but from what I know of their work, I feel safe saying this is one of their heaviest songs to date. It has their signature guitar tones but with a lot heavier vocals than I remember from Shaun in the past. It’s brilliant. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERZA81acxD4&ab_channel=Seether

Lastly, I’d like to honor my favorite covers, remakes, & collaborations of the year.

  • Fall Forever by Nik Nocturnal & Paula Carragosa ft Matt Heafy: Woah! Matt Heafy can sing/growl like THAT?! Yep, he sure can. So glad Nik & Paula chose him to feature on this track. And let’s not forget the impressive guitar work here from Nik & Paula (possibly my favorite metal couple). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKILFvblLhY&ab_channel=NikNocturnal

Well, that’s it! I could probably add some more but I have to end it some time, & this has taken me HOURS already. Happy listening!

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Best Songs Of 2023 (Singles/Covers)


If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know that I do an annual albums of the year post. Well, this year I decided that I need to make two posts- one for full length albums/EPs & one for singles/covers. So many bands/artists are no longer releasing albums & it feels unfair to exclude them when sometimes they make some of my favorite songs. Do I miss the days of CDs & actually going to a store to buy a physical album? Absolutely. But I also realize that we have two choices in life- evolve or die. I still refuse to use Spotify other than for podcasts because it pays artists so little for their music, but I have started downloading albums on Amazon music & only buying physical CDs for smaller bands that I know really need the monetary support, especially since I have a newer car now that doesn’t have a CD player. (Gosh, I miss having a CD player!!) I’m not sure if musicians get better returns off of Amazon Music (or YouTube, which I also use a lot) but since I do pay a monthly subscription (vs there are free options for Spotify), I’m hoping it pays them a little better. If not, at least I buy concert tickets & merch as often as I can.

Anyway, on with the show- I mean post. Please remember, I am not a professional music reviewer. I am a nurse who just happens to love music. I don’t owe anyone anything, so I feel no obligation to choose certain bands/artists, even if I know they are being universally praised this year. So, without further ado, here is my list for my favorite songs of 2023. These are in particular order, other than the first two.

  • Dark Thoughts by The Funeral Portrait: A few months ago I heard this song on Octane & was immediately entranced. I swiftly looked up the band, who are based out of Atlanta, on Instagram only to realize I’d already been following them- but hadn’t actually listened to their music. Crazy! Anyway, Lee has one of those powerful, soulful voices that you absolutely cannot forget. Think Brent Smith of Shinedown, Chris Robertson of Black Stone Cherry, Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy, or Jared Weeks of Saving Abel (incidentally all of these singers are Southerners except for Patrick- hmmm….). In fact, the band have often been said to have a Shinedown type sound but with a My Chemical Romance image/aesthetic. I think that’s a pretty accurate description. In any case, this song has an infectious chorus with insanely fun guitar riffs & is one of those that will quickly find its way into your head. Moreover, the lyrics are so dear to my heart. Lee wrote this about his struggles with OCD & boy, can I relate. The song may be called DARK thoughts but it definitely leaves me feeling pumped up & ready to fight those dark thoughts. No question about it- this is my song of the year, & I know it will be one that I’ll cherish for many, many years to come. If you don’t check out anything else on this list, I beg you to check out this one, even if rock isn’t normally your thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8DP5vhiDTk
  • Watch the World Burn by Falling in Reverse: You never know what you’re going to get with Ronnie Radke & this song is the epitome of that. It starts off with some crazy rapping- arguably the fastest he’s ever done- but then builds into a giant breakdown with full on screaming. As always, the music video that accompanies the song is basically a miniature movie. I’ll be honest- my first listen of this song left my head spinning. I wasn’t sure what to think because the song structure is so bizarre. It literally has no chorus! But I quickly found that I couldn’t stop listening to it. My favorite lines are at the end: “One day you’re gonna figure out that/Everything they taught you was a lie/Watch the world burn/The fear is what keeps you alive/Break the fucking chains, take back your life/The fear is what keeps you insane/Break the fucking chains, take away the pain.” If that doesn’t fire you up, what will? P.S. Yes, the band can & does perform this live. I’ve seen it done twice. Bassist Tyler Burgess helps with the vocals, including the rapping, & the synergy between him & Ronnie & the rest of the band is phenomenal. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMXESlny4-I
  • Artificial by Daughtry: Chilling & heavy, both lyrically & musically, Daughtry leaves no doubt about the potential dangers of Artificial Intelligence with this banger. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSmySDrz9ko
  • Drive You Out of My Mind by Kassi Ashton: Yes, I do love some country music too. And this right here is one of the most cleverly written country songs I’ve ever heard. The rhyming she uses is brilliant & her slightly husky voice is perfect for the raw emotions of the song. I confess a lot of female country singers sound whiny & almost childish to me- but not Kassi. This is a woman whose voice I could listen to all day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ipRfLf79WU/s
  • Your Place by Ashley Cooke: Since we’re on the subject of country music, let me go ahead & throw this one out for consideration. While clearly written about a break-up (“you made your bed & I ain’t sleeping in it”), I think the song can apply to anyone who’s tried to stick their nose where it doesn’t belong. Sometimes it simply “ain’t your place!” . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l21ubH2_Z70
  • Viking by Slaughter to Prevail: Now let’s switch gears entirely to what is undoubtedly the heaviest song on this list. Alex once again proves he is at least part beast with his impressive growls & screams. I can confirm that he does make these same crazy animal-like noises live. There is also a fantastic guitar riff that sounds very reminiscent of Slipknot- but without being an outright copy of course. Basically, I’m here to tell you that you do in fact need some Russian death metal in your life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fdqJhNbnSY
  • Spirits & Demons by Michael Ray (with Meghan Patrick): Ok, back to country one more time. I’d never heard of Michael (or Meghan) but I came across this song on satellite radio & fell in love. Once I realized Michael wrote it about his own divorce from fellow country singer Carly Pearce, it became even more powerful. The message of the song is that no matter what society tells you, you won’t find healing in alcohol. “Getting over you drunk is the only thing about us lasting forever, & ever, & ever/Spirits & demons won’t bring no healing/Ain’t no miracle at the bottom of the bottle I’m drinking/It’s just a buzz on a broken heart barely beating.” In a culture that often glorifies alcohol & encourages people to drink their cares away, that’s a powerful & timely message.
  • Flowers by Miley Cyrus: I have a whole blog post about this song. I’ve never followed Miley closely but this song is brilliantly written & performed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7KNmW9a75Y
  • Devil You Know by Tim Montana: Here’s another artist I discovered thanks to Octane this year. This song is the perfect blend of rock & country- so naturally I love it. The emotion in Tim’s voice is undeniable here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwEaKJrxDEY
  • Dead to Me by Palaye Royale: Anything these brothers touch is gold. I wasn’t expecting any new music from the guys this year since they released a stellar album last year AND their mother is struggling with advanced stage cancer. But out of nowhere they dropped an EP just last week which includes this catchy song that is lyrically one of the most overtly personal songs Remington has ever written. The rage in his voice goes perfectly with the almost rap-like verses & contrasts nicely with the softer chorus. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4t2yMEizfa4
  • Jaded by Spiritbox: This band has massively grown on me this year, especially this song. It is gorgeous, haunting, & super catchy all at once. Courtney is a goddess, end of story. I’m sure her husband (guitarist for the band) agrees. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjnZVpVvJ-k
  • Bite Your Tongue by Atilla: Atilla Frontman Chris Fronzak has never been known for keeping his mouth shut- which is largely the gist of this song. While I don’t support his career as an Only Fans star, I do admire him as an entrepreneur in general (he has several businesses outside of Atilla & Only Fans). This is a man who is not afraid to work. I recently listened to a podcast where he talked about selling golf balls & mowing lawns in his neighborhood before he was even a teenager! I may not agree with every facet of his life, but I do respect him, & there’s no doubt that this is a fun song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAwlewK-Xbo
  • Lost by Bring Me the Horizon: Infectious, upbeat, & beyond catchy, this is a song that is lyrically very dark & yet still somehow manages to be uplifting. I think we’ve all felt lost at some point or other & can relate to the angst here.
  • Dance Song by Austin John Winkler: Damn, it’s good to hear Austin’s voice again (the original singer for Hinder)! Having finally recovered from years of alcoholism that almost killed him (literally), he’s back & better than ever. This is a funky, groovy piece that will leave you wanting to dance & just have fun. I also love the honesty of the lyrics: “I’m not shy about the mess I’m in because we’re kind of all doing the same dance.” So true! In the age of perfectly curated social media accounts, it’s important to be reminded that none of us really has our shit together. We’re all just bumbling our way through this crazy world. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwTJJ8XRr6M

Now for the covers:

  • Every Time We Touch by Electric Callboy: I’m convinced these Germans can’t possibly make a bad song so it’s no surprise that this cover is brilliant. As usual for this band, the video is hilarious. If you need to smile, check out the bromance between Kevin & Nico to get a laugh. (In case you watch the video & wonder, no they are not actually a couple. Both are heterosexual, married to women, & fathers. But they do have a great bromance.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuBXeF5acqE
  • What’s Love Got to Do by Black Stone Cherry: This was released as an homage to the great Tina Turner after her death earlier this year. Covering a song this massive isn’t easy but BSC proved they were up to the task (no surprise with their talent). Chris’s soulful voice is perfect for this! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTi5XSaRLag
  • Lips of an Angel, Part 2 by Shaylen & Austin John Winkler: I’m not sure if this counts as a true cover but I don’t know where else to put it, so I’m putting it here. If you loved the original, like I did, you have to hear this. Austin’s sexy, husky voice is as brilliant as ever & combining it with country singer Shaylen makes for a powerful combination. I also hadn’t realized this but Austin wrote the original song in just one night based on his own real-life experience. He was only 23 at the time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oU1qcb5steI
  • Closer by Palaye Royale: The original is plenty sexy but Remington’s raspy voice makes it even sexier. I don’t think I need say anything else. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOjl_L2aXsQ
  • Separate Ways by Daughtry & Lzzy Hale: This is my favorite Journey song, an absolute classic. Daughtry & Lzzy Hale together are a phenomenal combination, so naturally this is a stellar cover. Of note, it was released exactly 40 years to the day of the original song.
  • Last Resort: Reimagined by Falling in Reverse: The stakes were definitely high covering a song as massive as this. Naturally Ronnie nailed it. If he’d done a standard cover that sounded roughly similar to the original- well, that just wouldn’t work. You can’t beat Papa Roach at their own game. So what did Ronnie do? He turned it into a slowed down piano ballad (a la his own reimagined songs) that serves to really highlight the gut-wrenching lyrics of this classic piece. It got the seal of approval by Jacoby Shaddix himself- that, my friends, is how you know you’ve made it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESOjt2_yJrU

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Best Albums of 2019


Yeah, yeah, I know it’s halfway through June- almost halfway through the year, & here I am JUST NOW getting around to writing my annual best albums post for the previous year. But hey, that’s life with a very spirited, challenging 3 year old. (Then again what 3 year old isn’t spirited & demanding?)

Anyway, aside from my # 1 choice, these are really in no particular order.

P.S. It should probably go without saying but many of these albums are not for delicate ears/sensibilities. Many come with an explicit label- or would if they were actually sold in mainstream stores like Wal-Mart. Listen at your own discretion.

  1. Disguise by Motionless in White: I loved MIW’s third album Reincarnate so much that I honestly thought there was no way they’d ever top that one, for me anyway. But then came Disguise. Woah, just woah! Both lyrically & musically MIW really blew it out of the water on this one, but especially lyrically. Lead vocalist & principle songwriter Chris Motionless has stated that he really focused more on the lyrics on this album & it absolutely shows. It’s very hard for me to choose a favorite on this one but if I had to choose one, it would be Another Life. The words are hauntingly beautiful while the melody is truly infectious, making the perfect combination for a song that is sure to be stuck in your head for a long time. Other highlights include the title track, hard-hitting Thoughts & Prayers, & Undead Ahead 2 which is based off of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow & is also a follow up to a song on their debut album. Also don’t miss the sarcastic & witty Brand New Numb. But truly there isn’t a bad song on this album, not a single song that isn’t well written in every aspect. And that is why it’s my choice for #1 album of the year.miw disguise
  2. Untitled by Rammstein: Confession: this is actually my first Rammstein album. I knew a handful of their songs before this album but never liked any of them enough to actually buy a full album. But then I heard Deutschland on satellite radio & instantly I was blown away by just how raw & powerful it was. The music video, as usual, was controversial but in my opinion is a fantastic portrayal of Germany’s history. The piano part that ends the video (not the actual song on the album) is also hauntingly beautiful & I believe it actually comes from one of their earlier albums. Then there is the almost dance-like Radio which is infectiously catchy & will most definitely get stuck in your head. Other stand-out tracks include Auslander & the surprising ballad Diamant. I understand no more than maybe five words of German but this album is proof that music is universal. You don’t have to understand the lyrics to feel the power of the music & the emotions behind it.rammstein
  3. Gereg by The Hu: While we’re on the subject of international music in languages other than English, let’s discuss the break-out debut album from this Mongolian band. When it comes to most unique sound, this album definitely takes the cake. Mongolian throat singing combined with traditional Mongolian instruments & fused with rock & roll- you got it! If you think that sounds bizarre & unlikely to please the ears, you couldn’t be more wrong. Well, maybe it IS bizarre- but that only makes it all the more interesting. I first came across a remix version of Wolf Totem featuring Jacoby Shaddix of Papa Roach while listening to something else on YouTube while at the gym one day. That lead me to check out the original version & I was immediately in awe- & in love. Also be sure to check out Shoog Shoog & Yuve Yuve Yu.the gereg the hu
  4. What You See Is What You Get by Luke Combs: After the first three you might not have been expecting to see a country album on this list but Luke Combs is way too good not to mention. This album is chock full of great songs- 17 of them to be specific! From start to finish Luke’s second album is full of brutally honest lyrics & story telling that definitely channel the spirit of his idol & fellow North Carolinian Eric Church (who just so happens to be my favorite country singer). In fact there is even a song featuring guest vocals from Church. It’s very hard to pick favorites but be sure to check out the upbeat Beer Never Broke My Heart & Angels Working Overtime as well as the more somber Dear Today. All Over Again is another great one that gets stuck in my head all the time. There is something so truly “every man” about Luke Combs that you just cannot help but like the guy even if country music isn’t your normal taste.luke combs
  5. Who Do You Trust? by Papa Roach: The follow up to 2017’s Crooked Teeth is a real blend of the different variations this band has explored over the past two decades. The best testament to the strength of this album is that I heard three of the songs for the first time live & immediately fell in love with all of them- so much so in fact that I ordered the album from my phone right there during the concert! Those three songs, in case you’re wondering, are still some of my favorites off the album: Feel Like Home, Renegade Music, & Come Around. The title track is also incredibly relevant for our world today, perhaps even more so now than when it was released last year. Though it’s less than 1.5 minutes long, the very punk rock track I Suffer Well is a fun addition to the album, particularly in contrast to the more hip hop influenced songs like Elevate. While this album could perhaps be accused of being a bit disjointed & not “flowing” super well, it’s still a fantastic addition to the Papa Roach catalog. P.S. If you haven’t seen Papa Roach live, as soon as we’re allowed to have concerts again, DO IT. Nevermind that these guys are in their 40s now- they have more energy & intensity than many bands half their age.papa roach
  6. Hotel Diablo by Machine Gun Kelly: Ok, so you probably weren’t expecting a rap album on this list either but here it is. To be honest I wasn’t expecting a rap album to ever make one of my annual best albums lists, but then I discovered this jewel by MGK. Truthfully I’ve forgotten quite how I got into this album but I’m pretty sure it involved going down a YouTube wormhole which probably led me to the last song on the album which is actually not a rap song at all. That song, I Think I’m Okay, is still my favorite from this disc. Other great tracks include Hollywood Whore, El Diablo, & Death in My Pocket. Rap will never be my favorite genre by a long shot but there is a rawness, honesty, & cleverness to MGK’s lyrics that I can’t help but love. It probably helps that he actually plays guitar & clearly has an appreciation for rock. In fact he’s actually just made a pop/rock/punk album entitled Tickets to My Downfall & I for one can’t wait for its release next month.hotel diablo
  7. 21st Century Liability by Yungblud: I discovered this album as a direct result of the previous one on this list. MGK’s I think I’m Okay features Yunglud & after watching the music video for that song I was immediately intrigued by this obviously unique young man. By the way, it turns out MGK & Yungblud have actually become great friends & are absolutely hilarious together (search YouTube for some great videos of them). If you’re offended by outspoken British dudes in pink socks who occasionally wear dresses, then Yungblud definitely isn’t for you. But it’d be a real shame to miss out on the wit & charm that is Yungblud. Standout tracks on this quirky record include Die For the Hype, Polygraph Eyes, & the title track. yungblud album
  8. N.A.T.I.O.N. by Bad Wolves: The second album by Bad Wolves comes across as an even more polished version of this clearly talented group of men. Outspoken lead singer Tommy Vext has quickly become one of my favorite rock stars, largely because he is so impossible to pigeon hole. He is truly a man who thinks for himself & says whatever he wants, regardless of what anyone else may think. But back to the album: there are plenty of great heavier tracks like No Messiah & I’ll Be There but I think my favorite is the deeply personal & more somber track Sober. Vext’s soulful voice really shines on songs like this where the emotions are so strong they’re almost palpable.bad wolves
  9. I, The Mask by In Flames: Confession: I knew almost nothing about legendary Swedish metalers In Flames until I started hearing I Am Above on Octane & Liquid Metal last year. After that I was instantly hooked, bought the album, & even saw them live when they came to Raleigh. There isn’t a bad song on this album but some of my other favorites include the slow burning Stay With Me which starts off soft & gentle but builds into a real powerhouse by the end & Follow Me which follows a similar pattern. Call My Name is also excellent.i the mask
  10. Southern Hostility by Upon a Burning Body: UABB will always be among my top choices for underrated bands. These Texans deserve so much more attention than they get. This entire album makes for a great work-out soundtrack. I for one can’t wait to get back to jamming to this at the gym someday . . . Anyway, vocalist Danny Leal’s screams are in top form on this album. Be sure to check out Reinventing Hatred, King of Diamonds, & From Darkness.uabb southern

Honorable mentions:

  • Earth & Sky by Of Mice & Men
  • Walk the Sky by Alter Bridge
  • The Ghost of Ohio by Andy Black
  • Shades of Blue by Danny Worsnop
  • High Crimes by The Damned Things
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The Most Powerful Songs in My Life


Music is an important element in every culture in the world, & I strongly believe that it is the greatest art form because of its potential to influence our lives.  Think about it: we listen to music in the car, at home, at the gym, & even at work sometimes.  And we carry around ipods so we can listen to music wherever we go.  What other art form so transcends our daily lives?

A few years ago I got the idea to write down what I considered the most powerful songs in my life.  Not necessarily my FAVORITE songs but the songs that I feel like have had the greatest impact on my life & capture the ideas that I believe are most important in life.  Today I was thinking again about the power of music in my life, so I decided to revisit that list & update it just a bit.

I would love to hear what songs have most influenced you & why, so please feel free to comment & share your thoughts.

Please note these are in no particular order.  I only numbered them so I wouldn’t lose count.

I’ve included links to YouTube for each song because I’m awesome like that.  🙂

  1. I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack: This is such a simple song but the words are so powerful.  Every time I hear this song, it makes me stop & really think about how I’m living.  The metaphor of “I hope you dance” is so perfect for expressing the need to live actively rather than passively letting life pass us by.  I also love the fact that this song reminds us of the importance of standing in awe of nature, taking a chance on loving others, & never letting our hearts grow bitter.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV-Z1YwaOiw&ob=av3eI hope you dance
  2. Fifteen by Taylor Swift: You can go ahead & laugh at me for having Taylor Swift on this list but I seriously love this song.  I’ll be the first to agree that her voice is far from perfect & that everything she’s released over the past two years or so has been absolute CRAP, but to me that does not diminish the power of her song-writing abilities earlier in her career.  In this song she expresses exactly what it’s like to be a teenage girl.  She captures the feeling that we all had in high school that this is your whole life & every little drama that comes along feels like the end (or beginning) of your world.  Yet she reminds us that in the end most of these things are but insignificant trifles in a life full of so many things so much bigger than we ever dreamed at fifteen.  She reminds us that despite what we thought as teenagers most of us had no idea who we really were then, much less how to really love another person.  I love how this song encourages girls to aspire to be so much more than the high school quarterback’s girlfriend even though when you’re fifteen that seems like the epitome of success.  In this song she also encourages us to think twice before making any big decision & reminds us that time can heal all wounds, two very important life lessons.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb-K2tXWK4w&ob=av2n
  3. Life Ain’t Always Beautiful by Gary Allen: This is yet another very simple but profound song that speaks of both the extreme joys & sorrows of life.  As the song teaches us, life isn’t always beautiful but the hard times & the changes give us strength & wisdom so that at the end of the day, life really is a beautiful journey.  I think Gary Allen’s deep gravelly voice perfectly demonstrates that something that isn’t perfect can still be wonderful.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VDNMtn0t2A&ob=av2elife aint always beautiful
  4. Best I Ever Had by Vertical Horizon: When I first discovered this song I listened to it over & over & over again.  This is such a sad but beautiful song that expresses the sorrow that so many of us have known in life when we have lost someone we love, whether through the end of a relationship or through death.  Initially I thought of this song as strictly about the loss of a romance but the more I listen to it, the more I believe the emotions expressed in this song could easily be translated to the loss of any loved one.  The song speaks of how we so often don’t realize the value of a relationship until it’s over.  I prefer the Vertical Horizon version simply because that’s the one I knew first but the Gary Allen version is hauntingly beautiful also. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bOCEp2lETI
  5. Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony (all four movements): There’s a reason this is Beethoven’s most famous work.  All four movements of this symphony are truly incredible.  The first & most famous movement is simply awesome.  The simple four-note theme begun in this movement is continued throughout all four movements, though cleverly disguised at times.  I’ll never forget hearing the third movement for the first time in a music class freshman year of college & how vividly the piece conjured up images of knights & castles.  To hear the transition into the fourth movement when the key switches from the angsty (Did I make up that word?) C Minor to the victorious C Major is truly heart-stopping.  Beethoven’s greatest strength as a composer was his ability to, without words, capture all of human emotion in his music, & I believe this piece is the greatest expression of that ability. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6z4KK7RWjmk
  6. Nessun Dorma from Turandot by Puccini: Forgive me if I sound crude, but those of you who appreciate music as I do will understand my meaning here.  This piece is my musical orgasm.  Those last few notes at the end of the piece never fail to send chills throughout my whole body & have quite often brought tears to my eyes.  Words feel so inadequate to express the glory of this piece.  If you don’t know it, listen to it NOW, & I hope you’ll experience it as I do.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbGKQ8YASCY
  7. Colors of the Wind from Pocahontas: Yes, I have a Disney song on here.  I’ve never been a big fan of the movie, partly because it’s so historically inaccurate, but I have always loved this song.  In today’s fast-paced, technologically advanced world, it’s extremely important to remember the beauty & frailty of nature & that the world is not a limitless supply of resources to fulfill our desires.  Yes, we have smart phones that can do more than computers from ten years ago.  Yes, the internet has connected the world in ways that our ancestors never even dreamed.  None of this is bad, but what is it worth if we destroy our Earth?  We must never lose touch of the joy & knowledge that can be found in a simple walk through the woods or gazing at a flower.  As the song points out, we are all connected to each other & to the Earth, and thus all of our actions ultimately affect everyone else as well as this planet we inhabit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkV-of_eN2wcolors of the wind
  8. How Can I Help You Say Goodbye by Patty Loveless: I remember hearing this song as I drove back to my hometown on a break from college one year.  I ended up with tears streaming down my face more than once as the words of the song kept running through my head & I thought of how much I missed my grandmother.  This song has been special to me ever since.  Perhaps it seems odd to like a song that can so easily make me cry (it still does sometimes), but I love it because it covers all of the major losses in life that we all experience at some point or another: loss of a childhood friend, loss of a spouse or romantic partner, & loss of a parent.  I love how the song highlights the importance of learning to say goodbye & that it’s ok to grieve when you’ve lost someone important.  Yet it also reminds us that eventually we must learn to put the past behind us while always cherishing the memories we’ve made. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4F_cXGQN9k
  9. Bleed Red by Ronnie Dunn: This is one of those songs that I fell in love with the first time I heard it.  The whole theme of this song is that we are all human beings who experience pain, joy, sorrow, & pleasure.  We all make mistakes, we all bleed red.  As the song says, “If we’re fighting, we’re both losing.”  In a world filled with turmoil, strife, & incessant war, I can’t think of a better message. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVSOOBQB6I0&ob=av2nbleed red
  10. Born This Way by Lady Gaga: To me this is the ultimate “feel good” song.  If you feel down on yourself, listen to this for an instant “pick me up.”  The message of this song is that regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual persuasion, etc, we are all beautiful creations & should thus be confident in our existence.  I think that’s something we all need to be reminded of once in a while. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BsLd4Y060Q
  11. I Can’t Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt: Here’s another song I fell in love with the first time I heard it.  Bonnie Raitt’s hauntingly beautiful voice combined with the jazzy piano phrasing makes this song unforgettable.  You can clearly hear the pain in her voice as she comes to the realization that so many of us have had to understand in life: you can’t make someone else love you no matter how much you love that person.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nW9Cu6GYqxo&ob=av2e
  12. Sangre Por Sangre by Hellyeah: Well, here is yet another song I fell in love with upon first listen.  The musical composition is nothing short of brilliant & the message makes it all the more powerful.  This song is not for the faint of heart for sure, but the band’s name alone ought to tell you that.  In any case, the lyrics so brilliantly describe how war & violence inevitably only lead to more war & violence & how futile this cycle really is.  The singer has stated that he wrote this song initially after losing a friend to murder, but he has also stated that the song has larger implications for wars & violence across the globe.  The visuals in the music video are a bit gruesome & haunting but they only serve to reinforce the power of this song.  I can never listen to this song just once; I have to listen to it two or three times in a row.  There’s just so much to absorb that once is never enough to take it all in.  (And just to clarify, the song is not in Spanish; there is only the one phrase “sangre por sangre” which means “blood for blood” that is in Spanish.)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keZ-GsRRVlQsangre por sangre
  13. 100 Years by Five for Fighting: This song talks about all the major stages of life & how each one is beautiful, terrifying, & wonderful all at the same time.  It also highlights how quickly life passes by & how important it is to enjoy every minute of it.  To me, this song also encourages us to never forget the vitality & strength of youth no matter how much the responsibilities of life seem to weigh us down as we age. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR-qQcNT_fY&ob=av2n
  14. Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls: This has been a favorite of mine for many years now.  It’s always struck me as an achingly sad song for some reason, though I’m not sure exactly why.  To me this song is all about feeling really “at home” with that one person you love & how no one else in the world can really understand you the way that person does & how you yearn for that person when you’re separated for whatever reason.  I think deep down we all have a need to be 100% open with someone, but that comes at the price of making yourself very vulnerable which is why most of us can only find that sort of comfort with one person.  “I don’t want the world to see me because I don’t think that they’d understand . . . I just want you to know who I am.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdYWuo9OFAw&ob=av2e
  15. Hello World by Lady Antebellum: I’m not sure how anyone could listen to this song & not be affected by it.  It’s simply gorgeous.  I love how the song starts out very soft & gentle but gradually builds up to a thundering, dramatic finish.  It’s even more amazing when you hear it in person.  To me this song is all about rediscovering the true beauty & meaning in life which is found in the simple things that money can never buy: family, friends, etc.  We all have times in our lives when we get caught up in the day-to-day frustrations & forget the bigger picture.  This song reminds us of that bigger picture.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CUccxMOVHUhello world
  16. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This by Marilyn Manson: The first time I heard this song I was driving over to visit my then-boyfriend/now-husband one evening during my senior year of college.  It was dark outside & I remember getting goosebumps as I listened to this song.  I was both terrified & intrigued.  I was pretty sure it was a Marilyn Manson song, so part of me was screaming “He’s crazy!  You can’t like this!”  As soon as I got to a computer, I looked up the song on YouTube because it interested me so much.  I’ve been hooked on it ever since.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHRyMcH6WMM  (Note: The real video is pretty creepy & YouTube requires you to be 18 to watch it.)
  17. Painting Pictures of Egypt by Sara Groves: This is technically a religious song, but I don’t think you need to be the least bit religious to understand & appreciate it.  This has been such a powerful song in my life that I have a whole note on Facebook about it.  (I’ll have to make a blog post out of that sometime soon.)  This song speaks about the longing to go back to an easier or happier time in life & the fear of stepping out into an uncertain future.  (The metaphor is related to the Israelites missing Egypt when they left for “The Promised Land,” in case you’re wondering about the references to Egypt.)  This is something we all experience in life at some point or another.  What we have to realize is that like an old pair of shoes, the past no longer fits us anymore so we have to try on our new shoes & move forward in life.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUYAmVYnC-Y
  18. King of Anything by Sara Bareilles: The sarcastic attitude of the lyrics combined with the infectious beat made this song an instant favorite of mine.  This is the song to listen to when you’re tired of people telling you how to live your life or what’s best for you.  After all, “Who died & made you king of anything?” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR7-AUmiNcA&ob=av2eking of anything
  19. Justice by Rev Theory: Yet another song I loved immediately upon first hearing it.  This is just a fun hard rock song all around & it’s especially fun to listen to if you’re angry or frustrated.  (Which of course makes it a fantastic song for the gym.)  But more importantly it speaks to the need to find justice for all the many wrongs & abuses in the world.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5N80tNDCGg&ob=av2e
  20. We Were Young by Honor By August: I first saw Honor by August as one of the opening acts for Third Eye Blind at a street concert in downtown Raleigh this past spring.  May I just say that they blew Third Eye Blind out of the water by a longshot?  I don’t think I’ve ever so immediately fallen in love with a band’s music the way I did with Honor By August that night.  I had never even heard of this band or any of their songs before that night, but it was evident from the very first note they played that there was real emotion & wisdom behind their music.  It’s hard for me to even classify their music, but I guess you could call it soft rock, which is not typically my favorite genre.  But as I said before the EMOTION conveyed in their music is just so REAL that you cannot help but be drawn to it.  It’s hard to pick just one song of theirs that has really impacted me because there are so many, but We Were Young has to be one of the best.  This song conveys so many truths about how we tend to rush through our lives, especially when we’re young, only to realize later on how precious each day really is.  It also speaks of how life can change so much over the years but real love will last in spite of all the changes.  I saw Honor By August again this summer & I was just as impressed as the first time.  Seriously, you need to look up this band & find a live show to attend.  You won’t regret it.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2Qq0JpnNpM

honor by august

Honor By August

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Slaying the Anxiety Monster


Yesterday I did something I’ve been pondering for years . . . literally years.  I got a prescription for anti-anxiety medication & started taking it.  I’ve considered doing this for YEARS now but every time prior to yesterday I’ve backed out due to fear: fear of what others might think, fear of how my opinion of myself might change, fear of side effects, fear of “giving up,” & just basic fear of the unknown.  Growing up in a society that quite literally tells people with anxiety, depression, & other mental health issues that they “just aren’t thankful enough for God’s blessings” & other such nonsense coupled with my own perfectionist personality makes admitting that I might need medication for my anxiety incredibly hard to accept.  But yesterday I finally said “Screw you!” to the fear & admitted that, for right now anyway, I need more help than I’ve been able to give myself.

anxiety meds

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while or if you know me in real life, then you probably know that I’ve been struggling with anxiety issues practically since birth.  I can be pretty good at hiding it because outwardly I am so “put-together.”  In reality my life really IS quite together.  It’s just that my brain is always on “overdrive” which makes it very difficult for me to truly relax because my mind is always thinking, thinking, thinking about a million things.  It’s a blessing & a curse as I’ve detailed on this blog in various posts from time to time (see: https://athicketofmusingsblog.com/2014/07/28/shut-up-brain-part-2/ & https://athicketofmusingsblog.com/2014/02/06/shut-up-brain/ & https://athicketofmusingsblog.com/2013/08/17/inexplicable-anxiety/).  But lately due to a variety of external factors in my life, it’s been more of a curse than a blessing, & my usual coping mechanisms have not been enough to keep my head fully above water.  I’ve been drowning myself in music & essential oils & all the other things that normally help me . . . and they just haven’t been enough.  It’s not that these things haven’t been helpful at all . . . but the anxiety has not receded significantly like it normally does in response to these coping mechanisms.  If anything my anxiety has continued to grow steadily over the past month or so.

I really can’t describe to you how hard it is to admit this.  I’ve been seeing a therapist for just over a year now & this is honestly the first time in that year that I’ve felt like my anxiety has truly taken a turn for the worse.  I’ve had a few bad weeks here & there but nothing like this.  Until the past month I’ve felt like I’ve been steadily climbing upwards, steadily improving.  But somewhere around the end of June I feel like I hit a brick wall, tripped over a boulder, & slid all the way down the mountain.  After all the progress I’ve made over the past year, having my anxiety overwhelm me again is incredibly devastating.  I really felt like for a while I’d slayed the beast that is my anxiety.  But I guess the reality is that I had just put it to rest for a while.  And the truth of the matter is I should be rejoicing over how well I did for so long.  Instead of berating myself for struggling with this issue, I need to remember that like most chronic health conditions, either mental or physical, unfortunately anxiety rarely goes away forever, despite preventative measures & the best treatment.  The sad reality is that no matter how many times you fight the anxiety monster, every new battle is still frightening &  sometimes overwhelming.  

hello-my-name-is-anxiety

I know there are some people who will say I’m “giving up & taking the easy way out” by taking medication for my anxiety.  But the truth of the matter is I’ve tried everything in my power to control this on my own for YEARS now . . . basically my whole life.  I also REALLY don’t want people to think that I’m saying therapy isn’t helpful because I literally cannot express to you how incredibly helpful it has been for me.  Finding my current therapist was one of the greatest decisions of my life.  And the essential oils I’ve been using are also amazingly useful & have helped me tremendously as well.  And music has been my lifeline for most of my life; there is no question about that.  There is no doubt in my mind that for many people these kinds of coping mechanisms are more than enough to manage their anxiety or other mental health concerns.  But unfortunately I’ve just reached a point where these things aren’t enough for me anymore.  I sincerely hope to get back to the point at which these normal coping mechanisms are sufficient for me.  But the fact of the matter is I’m not there right now, & I shouldn’t feel the need to apologize or explain myself for that.  If I had any other type of health condition, almost no one would question my need to take medication for it.  But if you have mental health concerns, far too many people, even well-meaning people, expect you to just “get over it.”  Would that it were that easy!  Trust me, if I could just will myself out of my anxiety, I’d have done it a long, long time ago!!

katy perry

I’m going to end today’s post with the incredibly eloquent words of a very dear friend of mine who has provided so much encouragement to me over the past few years.  In fact she is the person who encouraged me to find my therapist last year.  I have so much to thank her for.  This message she sent me yesterday describes her own experiences with mental health over the past few years & was a courageous (& very effective) effort to assuage the guilt & fear I had regarding “giving up & taking medication” for my anxiety.

“What I have learnt over the last six years of this bullshit is that it matters less & less what people think or what box you fit into: bipolar, depression, anxiety . . . We are all damaged in one way or another.  We just have to survive.  And maybe that sounds cynical, but to me it makes me want to find balance even more, because I’m determined to find the joy that remains somewhere & live it.  And all this is just part of getting there.”

My anxiety might make my life a bit harder at times, but it also means that I appreciate the good times all the more because I know how it feels to be really down.  I may never truly slay the anxiety monster, but I CAN find ways to keep it in hibernation for as long as possible.  And as my friend expressed in her message yesterday, fighting the anxiety monster makes me all the more determined to enjoy every second of this precious life, “to find the joy that remains somewhere & live it.”    And if taking a medication is part of getting there, so be it . . . Hopefully it won’t be forever, but for right now it’s worth a try.  

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Finding Peace When Times are Hard


There was a shooting in my hometown today (about three hours away from where I now live).  Being a very small town in a very rural area, this isn’t exactly something you expect to read about when scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed.  But sadly this isn’t the first time there’s been a shooting in this supposedly peaceful place.  It’s the second hometown shooting I’ve found out about via Facebook just in the past four or five years.  In any case it goes without saying that this is a horrific tragedy that has no doubt affected countless individuals.  It’s ironic to me how so many people have this idea that small towns are inherently safer, more peaceful, and generally more moral than the rest of the world.  I can tell you from personal experience that they are not & that small towns are exactly how Agatha Christie used to describe them in her books: they are a microcosm for the larger world.  All the evil that exists in the world as a whole exists just as strongly in a small town.  It just might not seem quite as apparent if given only a cursory glance.  This isn’t a rant against small towns (even though I’ve long since realized that small town life just isn’t right for me anymore, at least at this stage of my life).  I’m just trying to say that evil is everywhere.  There’s no running from it.  No hiding from it.  However, despite what I often hear, especially at times like this, I don’t believe the world is getting any more evil than it’s ever been.  First of all there is absolutely no scientific way to measure that.  And second of all, I truly believe it’s only due to technology such as TV & the internet that we are more aware of so much of the evil in the world, which of course makes is seem like the world is getting worse & worse.  Perhaps if good news received even half the attention that bad news receives, we wouldn’t be so convinced that the world is “going to hell in a handbasket,” as it were.  But sensationalism sells . . .

times are hard

Anyway, at times like these, I find myself slipping into the cynicism that inevitably rears its ugly head whenever such senseless tragedies occur.  I did not personally know the victim but I interacted with her a handful of times growing up, as she worked in the local school system, & her son was involved in a teen group at my church when we were growing up but I haven’t seen or heard from him in many years.  The alleged perpetrator as I understand it, who at this writing is still at large, was a barber in town for many years & as such was well known in the community (somebody correct me if I’m wrong here).  I believe my dad used to go to his barber shop.    Point being, I don’t have a strong personal connection to this tragedy, but even so it is a shocking event that sends the mind reeling with questions about the uncertainty & unfairness of life.  I like to think of myself as mostly a positive person but I think at heart I am actually a realist.  I cannot help but see reality for exactly what it is most of the time.  For example as a nurse, I cannot help but realize how completely futile the care I provide is at times.  Or when I think about becoming a mom, I cannot help but realize how difficult & tiring of an undertaking that will be.  I often hear women say “Babies are cute but I just had no idea how much work this would be.”  When I hear such things, part of me wants to slap them in the face.  How could you NOT realize how much work a baby will be?  To me it’s just so obvious.  Just as it’s obvious to me that a 90 year old who cannot speak, eat, or care for herself in any way & generally has no quality of life should be a DNR and should not receive a feeding tube to prolong her misery.  But I’ve strayed from the point . . .

What I’m saying is I’m struggling right now to fight my way out of the darkness.  I know there are plenty of wonderful people in the world & I truly believe that good is stronger than evil.  If I didn’t, I don’t think I could keep going.  But when you’re presented with tragedies like this that quite literally hit close to home (the shooting occurred maybe two miles from my parents’ house), it’s easy to lose sight of that.  Having no strong personal connection to this horrifying event, I feel actually quite selfish being so upset by it.  I know the victim’s family & friends are suffering so much right now.  Yet I also know there are others like me who have no real connection to this story & yet are horrified just the same.

Certainly this is a time of grieving for my hometown & there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking our time to grieve & process such a horrific event.  As I wrote around Christmas, grief is a ghost that will haunt us forever until we learn to work through it (https://athicketofmusingsblog.com/2013/12/18/processing-grief-during-the-most-wonderful-time-of-the-year/).  We each must identify the coping mechanisms that help us to work through our grief and the cynicism that can naturally follow such a tragedy.  For me music is quite often the best healer.   Music along with writing is what helps me make sense of a senseless world.  Or perhaps I should say to come to terms with a senseless world.

As it turns out, earlier this week I was fooling around on YouTube, as I often do, & came across a new song by a band I discovered at Uproar Festival in Raleigh in September of 2012, shortly after we moved down here.  The song is called Times are Hard by Redlight King.  I have been listening to it almost non-stop for the past few days & I cannot help but feel like the timing of discovering this song was quite providential for lack of a better word.  The song talks about how when life is hard, when tragedies take us by surprise & there seems to be no balm for our wounds, we need to find someone to hold onto to keep us strong.  How appropriate at a time like this.  To me it’s an empowering song, yet it doesn’t gloss over how difficult life can be at times.  I don’t know if the song was necessarily written about this kind of horrific tragedy, but that’s the beauty of music: it can mean whatever you want it to mean.  It can speak to you wherever you are at this point in time.

I’ll leave you with the lyrics & a link to the song on YouTube.  Check it out.  It’s powerful stuff.

Sooner or later life will pull you in

Make you choose to either sink or swim

Somewhere down the line it’s gonna break your heart

Put you out & make you wear the scars

All these dreams, they come with all this doubt

When we can’t fit in we try to find a way out

Learn to fight so they don’t seal our fate

They say you never see it coming till it’s way too late

These times are hard, feels like nothing’s gonna change

Nowhere to start, & you got nothing for the pain

`Cause when life moves fast, it don’t matter who you are

You gotta find someone to hold onto

Damn, these times are hard

We build those bridges & we watch them burn

So quick to pull the trigger, so slow to take our turn

We’ve all been locked out & we’ve broken down the door

Some of us hit the dirt, some of us still come back for more

When the thirst gets so bad, you’re just dying to get a taste

When it don’t involve religion, when it don’t involve the race

And there’s everything to lose `cause we were never born to win

Willing to sacrifice everything we have just to roll the dice again

These times are hard, feels like nothing’s gonna change

Nowhere to start, & you got nothing for the pain

`Cause when life moves fast, it don’t matter who you are

You gotta find someone to hold onto

Damn, these times are hard

 

Life isn’t perfect, so it’s just what you make it

And that’s what they tell you

But it’s hard when they’re holding you down

Somebody out there for you

They’re praying it all gets easy

Someone you hold onto

These times are hard, feels like nothing’s gonna change

Nowhere to start, & you got nothing for the pain

`Cause when life moves fast, it don’t matter who you are

You gotta find someone to hold onto

Damn, these times are hard

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10 Steps to a Healthier, Happier Life in 2014


Since it’s the beginning of a new year, naturally I have been spending some time thinking about how to make this a happier, healthier year than the last.  It’s cliché of course, but it’s important to think about these things because positive change isn’t something that just happens.  It has to be deliberate.  After some consideration I’ve come up with what I believe are the ten most important things for living a healthier, happier life in 2014.  Since physical health is only one component of overall health, I’ve included measures regarding emotional and spiritual health as well.

  1. If you’re trying to lose weight or eat/be healthier in 2014, be sure to set small, measurable, attainable goals.  It’s fine to have your overall big goal of losing 50 pounds or running a marathon or whatever it may be, but if you don’t set small realistically attainable goals along the way, you will never achieve your larger goal.  It will always remain some unreachable pie in the sky and you’ll end the year depressed and wondering why you never accomplish what you set out to accomplish.  Here are some good examples of small goals you can set:
    1. This week I will drink at least 4 glasses of water each day (instead of sodas).
    2. This week I will eat at least one vegetable and one fruit every day.
    3. This week I will walk one mile 3 days a week.  Next week I’ll do it 4 days a week.

The point is to make SMALL changes every day because if you try to drastically change your lifestyle you are almost certain to fail.  But if you take small steps every day, eventually you will be amazed to find that you have truly changed your life!  Indeed, this theory is true for so much more than just weight loss, so you can apply it to all kinds of goals you might have for 2014.  I can tell you from personal experience that this is how I gradually lost 15 lbs over the course of late 2012 into early 2013.  I was only trying to lose 10 lbs but by making small realistic changes every day, I ended up losing more weight than I even hoped to lose!  And I’ve consistently kept it all off, minus 2-3 lbs that I regained over the holidays, but I know I can lose that again quickly by making the same small changes for better health every day.

2. Find those people who you really love and hold them close.  Some of them might be hundreds or even thousands of miles away, but in today’s technology age that no longer means you can’t stay in regular contact (with some exceptions for the military or people in areas without consistent internet access, of course).  For example, one of my best friends is in England.  I have only met her once in real life and it wasn’t until a year or more after that that we actually became close.  But we have managed to BECOME and STAY close via Facebook chat & Skype, and I am now planning a trip to see her in England sometime this year.  As a nurse I am constantly reminded that what really matters in life more than anything is the relationships you build with your family and friends.  If there’s a relationship in your life that is broken or just isn’t as strong as you wish it was, make 2014 the year you try to repair and rebuild it.  Not every relationship can or even should be saved.  (For example a woman whose ex-husband beat her probably shouldn’t try to reignite that relationship in any way.  It just wouldn’t be safe.)  But if you have a relationship you think should be salvaged, don’t let pride stop you.  Stay in regular contact with those you love as much as you can, and never forego a chance to say “I love you.

3. Do something at work that scares you.  As a nurse for me this often means trying an IV on someone who seems to be an impossible stick.  If I didn’t try everyone I thought was going to be a hard stick I’d have started a LOT less IV’s than I have in my career.  In 2013 I also trained for and starting working as a charge nurse on my unit.  It was scary at first (and still is occasionally), but I’ve learned to really enjoy this new role because I see it as a way to help my fellow nurses.  So whatever it is at work that scares you, make a real effort to tackle that this year.  You might not succeed 100% at everything (I certainly don’t get every IV I try), but you will probably succeed more often than you think.  And your greatest confidence is built in doing those things you thought you couldn’t do.

4. Building on number three, don’t be afraid to speak your mind about things that really matter to you.  I started this blog as a way to share my ideas and observations about life, largely in an effort to clear my own mind but also to hopefully encourage and inspire others.  However, it has taken a lot of courage for me to write some of the things I’ve written, being unsure of what kind of reaction I might get even from those close to me.  For example my post The Purity Myth garnered a fair amount of disagreement and criticism (of the idea, not me personally) even from some people close to me.  That is totally fine of course because everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but writing that post was scary for me.  The ideas in it were so important to me but I knew they contradicted a lot of what my family believes, so it was difficult to share something that I knew many would not like.  But I did it anyway.  As it turns out The Purity Myth has been my most popular post to date (I guess sex really does sell, huh?  HA!), and no one has disowned me for having more “liberal” ideas.  I was also afraid to share a lot of my posts about anxiety, but those have all been fairly popular and I have received quite a few messages and comments from people (strangers & friends alike) thanking me for my honesty in writing about such issues.  Knowing that I have not only helped myself but also helped others through my writing is one of the greatest feelings I’ve ever known in life.  Yes, I may have offended a few people from time to time by speaking my mind about something (whether on this blog or in “real life”) but that is somewhat inevitable in life anyway.  What I’m slowly learning is that as long as you have a loving, compassionate attitude towards others that will come through to your audience no matter what your actual message is.  The greatest regrets in life are often of what is left unsaid rather than what is said anyway.

5. Listen to music that isn’t on pop radio.  I’m fully aware that I’m a bit of a music snob in some ways, but I’m a former band geek so I can’t help it.  But in all seriousness, do explore music beyond the Top 40.  There is so much more out there with so much more to say about life, love, and everything in between than Justin Beiber, Miley Cyrus, and One Direction.  If you don’t think you like country music, try Kacey Musgraves.  You might be pleasantly surprised.  If you don’t think you like rock, try Stone Sour, especially their latest two-part album The House of Gold and Bones.  Again I think you might be pleasantly surprised.  The point is music can be such a huge source of inspiration in life.  I know it is for me in too many ways to count.  So explore it.  Nowadays with YouTube, Pandora, Spotify, and iTunes we have greater instant access to every kind of music in the world than anyone ever has before, so take advantage of it.

6. Do something for someone who can never repay you.  Whether it’s giving food to a homeless person or volunteering with disadvantaged children or something else entirely, just do it.  You will feel great and the world will be a better place because of it.

7. Don’t let strict gender roles define you.  But on the same token, if you find yourself fitting some gender role stereotypes, as long as you’re happy, don’t feel like you need to change things.  This is the 21st century.  If a man wants to be a stay-at-home dad, great.  But if you can’t imagine doing that as a man, that’s fine too.  If you have a master’s degree but want to be a stay-at-home mom, don’t let anyone tell you you’ve sold yourself short.  At the end of the day, you answer to yourself.  Don’t let other voices run your life when yours are the ones you have to sleep with at night.

8. Be honest about your emotions, with yourself and others.  Don’t bottle things up or try to deny how you’re feeling out of guilt or anything else.  If you’re sad, allow yourself to be sad.  If you’re angry, allow yourself to be angry.  Be an adult and learn how to have strong emotions while not ACTING on them in negative ways.  That’s the key.

9. Find what makes you tick in life.  In other words, the things you are really passionate about.  For me it’s music and writing.  For others it might be photography, dance, art, cooking, interior design, sports, or marketing.   Whatever it is, just find it and do it as much as you can.  Consider making a career out of your passions, but also remember that sometimes your passions can be just as therapeutic as hobbies.  The point is that you find out what they are and seek them out as much as you can.

10. As a follow up to number nine, remember that having fun and making good memories is what life is all about.  The world needs people who are passionate about life because these are the people who inspire others and inevitably make a positive difference wherever they go.  Try not to obsess over little things by asking yourself something like this: “In the course of a lifetime, what will this matter?”  It may sound morbid, but think about what will be important to you at the end of your life and remember that could be any time because none of us is promised tomorrow.  Make decisions and choices in life that align with your values, goals, and dreams.  Learn to cherish the little things because when you look back on your life you will find those were the things that mattered the most.  Take time to smell the roses, to cherish a beautiful sunset, to listen to the sound of the waves on the seashore, and to share it all with those you love.

I wrote this as much to myself as to anyone, but I hope this was of some inspiration to you as readers as well.  I hope 2014 will be a great year for all of us.  Just remember, life is what you make it.  No excuses, no exceptions.  This is both terrifying and exciting, but don’t let the fear of striking out keep you out of the game.

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