Beartooth

Best Albums of 2023


Yes, it’s that time of year again, time for my annual albums of the year post! If you haven’t already seen it, check out my previous post for my choices for songs of the year. Since so many bands/artists no longer release actual albums (or even EPs), I felt the need to create a separate post to highlight some of my favorite songs that either aren’t part of an album or that really touched me even if the rest of the album didn’t (or in some cases I never got around to listening to the rest of the album because I’m not a professional music reviewer & definitely don’t have unlimited time for these things).

I’d like to remind readers that these are solely MY choices for the albums that I most enjoyed this year, the ones that personally spoke to ME the most. Yes, I realize that I “should” have Metallica’s 72 Seasons & Sleep Token’s Take Me Back to Eden on here, like just about every other best albums list this year. But the fact of the matter is that while both albums are objectively great, they just didn’t speak to ME the way the ones I’ve chosen here did. I will also willingly acknowledge that I am non-conformist enough that I subconsciously tend to steer away from anything that is wildly popular at any given time (whether that’s music, a TV show, a movie, or a book), even when it’s within my own favorite non-conformist genre. Maybe I’m just an overgrown teenager that way…

Anyway, without further ado, here are my choices for the best albums of 2023. At the end you’ll find my choices for best EPs of the year, as well as the albums I’m most anxiously anticipating for 2024. Aside from the first three, these are in no particular order.

  • The Mockingbird & The Crow by Hardy: Alright, y’all, I never expected my album of the year to contain the phrase “dead buck on my Instagram” not once but TWICE, but here we are. Ha! A couple months ago I was driving home from Costco when I heard Sold Out (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r57GhcHEgGo) on Octane & immediately fell in love. Who was this redneck country singer who wasn’t afraid to scream like the best metal singers? I had to know. It didn’t take me long to fall way down the rabbit hole with Hardy. The fact that Hardy managed to write a half country- half rock album that is incredibly well written on both “sides” is nothing short of phenomenal. The title track (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr6JPLNMnyI) is perhaps my favorite because it encapsulates a dilemma I know good & well- the divide between the “country/redneck” part of me & the rock/metal part of me. The former represents the more conservative, people-pleasing nature I grew up with while the latter represents the more free-thinking part of me that I’ve embraced as an adult. I imagine some of that is true for Hardy as well, though I suspect for him it’s more to do with the music itself, but nonetheless I see parallels to all of life here. It’s so easy to be the mockingbird- to do the things others before you have done, to do what’s expected & “proper,” (in Hardy’s case write the more traditional country music)- & yet sometimes the crow just beckons so strongly that it cannot be contained (in Hardy’s case this means embracing his rock & roll side). It’s hard to choose but perhaps my favorite lines on the album are as follows: “And I refuse to be another/Mockingbird with a microphone/I’ll fly the line I choose to, brother/Even if that makes me the crow.” Like any great album, this is one that deserves to be listened to top to bottom, front to back. But in order to save time, I’ll highlight just three more of my favorites here: Wait in the Truck featuring Lainey Wilson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsMB0i5YTOc), which is a poignant piece about domestic violence; Radio Song featuring Jeremy McKinnon of A Day to Remember (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Km3DY77vINU), which makes fun of how simplistic & formulaic much of country music is; & Jack (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwtjL9UI4uQ) which discusses the dangers of alcohol & how easily one can slip from a casual drinker to a full-blown abuser.
  • Blackout by From Ashes to New: This album has been a long time coming but thankfully it did not disappoint. Indeed it’s chock full of banger after banger. With opening track Heartache (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh1gQWwBp5Q) followed by Nightmare (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iD7nQ_DledY), followed by Hate Me Too (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0h0Oo1EzJw), the album starts off with three of the band’s most successful tracks to date. The latter has a hilarious music video you’d do well to check out- & is also probably their most “pop” sounding song to date- but with some great guitar riffs. Then you’ve got Monster in Me (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yoHqZawQEU) which is dominated by Matt Brandyberry’s rapping. There seriously isn’t a bad song on here so I could go on for a while but lastly let me mention Until We Break (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiT0NJf4emk) which features Matty Mullins of Memphis May Fire. Again, it’s hard to choose but perhaps my favorite lyrics on this album are in this track: “You’re the heart of the fate that divides us/A plague & a virus, yeah, & all we need to do is/Close our eyes ’cause there is nothing to see (nothing to see)/We’ll all be fine if all we do is believe, so/Smile for the camera, swallow the dagger/Cut out the ones who disobey/Follow the leader into the fever/One by one until we break.”
  • The Surface by Beartooth: Here’s another album that simply rocks from top to bottom. To be honest, I loved Beartooth’s second & third albums but the fourth one disappointed me. Not so with this one! As soon as I heard leading single Riptide (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv3t0Fvgvik), I knew this album would be DIFFERENT- optimistic & uplifting but without losing an ounce of heaviness! I for one am thoroughly enjoying seeing lead singer & mastermind of the group Caleb Shomo finally winning the battle against his depression. Doubt Me (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfY5VokMkL8) is another banger that is universally relatable- after all, we’ve all had to beat some doubters along the way- even if the strongest one of those is the voice in our own head. I could go on all day but let me also mention Look the Other Way (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiEKANbfEYQ) & Might Love Myself (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83rcK9Xne5A), both of which really showcase the beauty & power of Caleb’s voice. You can truly hear the happiness in his voice here & it’s nothing short of delightful.
  • Skeletons by Pop Evil: I own six out of seven of this band’s albums, so I think it’s safe to say I know their catalog well. But if I’m being perfectly honest, the last three albums left me disappointed. They had some good songs here & there, but taken as a whole none of them really grabbed me like their earlier work. Well, this year I’m glad to say they grabbed me again- in a good way. As soon as I heard Paranoid/Crash & Burn (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMTrh8xRXtk) & Eye of the Storm (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9jGRtmCsNQ) I was in love. Then I heard the title track (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95lkrtb7Gt4) & I knew I had to check out the full album. This time it did not disappoint. My favorite lyrics are from the aforementioned title track: “We live in a world gone mad that’s lost control/What doesn’t kill us leaves a hole in our soul/Chase a satellite, get lost in outer space/We’re only human, we’re flesh & bone/Fighting wars within/We’re only human, we’re flesh & bone/Lonely skeletons” & Who Will We Become: “We may not control the events that happen to us/What happened to us?/But we have a choice to choose who we will become/Who will we become?” I 100% believe that- we cannot always control what happens to us but we CAN control who we become. I have to believe that- otherwise there’s no hope. I should also mention that the last three songs on the album are easily among the heaviest songs the band has ever done.
  • Confessions of the Fallen by Staind: Oh man, Staind were one of the first rock bands I ever loved. Naturally I was excited to see the band back with their first album in twelve years. I’m not sure that it was ever a single but my favorite track here is Cycle of Hurting (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2tCwGPuUzs). The lyrics are dark & painful but the song leaves me feeling empowered to do exactly what the title says- end the cycle of hurting. Lowest In Me (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0Nm-yx9CLg) is probably one of the band’s heaviest songs to date & proves they definitely aren’t going soft in their middle age. Vocalist Aaron Lewis is certainly a controversial character, & I don’t agree with all of his views, but I definitely respect him as a person & as a musician. Regardless of what you think of his politics, this album is well worth a listen.
  • Dance Devil Dance by Avatar: I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again- it’s downright criminal that Avatar aren’t more popular than they are. I submit to you that if you don’t like watching five tall, long-haired Swedish guys prance around on stage in clown outfits, then you need to reevaluate your life. Ha! Anyway, I fell in love with this band when I saw them live back in 2018. I had never heard them before & knew nothing about them, but they entranced me from the very first song. These guys are not just excellent musicians, they are also true PERFORMERS. Stand out tracks include the title track (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_t_U8aYDlo); Chimp Mosh Pit (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIUseqP3my8) which comes with a music video that proves these guys may be serious musicians but they don’t take themselves too seriously & know how to simply have some FUN; & Violence No Matter What (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjef8L7pRZs) featuring none other than Lzzy Hale. I should also mention the danceable, almost country like The Dirt I’m Buried In (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JPtxtSK-Cs)- it was the band’s first song to reach the top of the Billboard Mainstream Rock chart.
  • Life is But a Dream… by Avenged Sevenfold: No list would be complete without this album. I think Ben Bruce from Asking Alexandria said it best when he said that the A7X guys aren’t just musicians, they’re COMPOSERS. My favorite track is Nobody (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjrRTY2UDjw) with its bizarre song structure & the unexpected guitar solo that closes the song. Mattel is also great (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYmVTVnXXlk) but really this is an album that needs to be listened to in full, not piecemeal. It’s the kind of thing you really ought to listen to in a dark room while doing absolutely nothing else.
  • Papers Hearts (EP) by Sleep Theory: Sleep Theory burst on to the scene via Octane with hit single Numb (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7s9gFaWpUM) & it wasn’t too long after that that they rocketed from unknown, unsigned band out of Memphis to signing a record deal with Epitaph Records & opening up for none other than Shinedown. If you’ve listened to any interviews with these guys, you will know they are as humble & hard-working as they come. I couldn’t be happier to see them having the success they’re having, & I can’t wait to see what next year holds for them. I was lucky enough to hear them debut Gone or Staying (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac9OiIXFqUA) live on Octane a few months ago & it just might be my favorite on this EP. It’s the perfect blend of soulful R&B & heavy that makes this band so darn good.

For these last two artists, I’m not sure how to classify them because these are all singles but there were multiple songs I absolutely loved by both artists, so it felt more fitting to put them here, as if they were an EP, than with the singles post. I guess I’ll just group them by artist name.

  • TX2: Here is yet another artist I discovered thanks to Octane. One morning I was running errands & heard Degrade Me (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6r79AhrOPOE) on Octane & was immediately hooked. I found myself thinking “This is obviously a young guy with a punk rock aesthetic/sensibility, yet the guitar work & overall song structure seem more classic rock & roll.” Naturally I had to have more, so to YouTube I went & quickly fell down the TX2 rabbit hole. Heaven Was Full (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb9aQy3d5oo) contains a massive guitar solo & is a perfect song for anyone who’s ever felt like they just couldn’t live up to the expectations others have for them without sacrificing their own conscience. I Would Hate Me Too (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keegsPt1jCU) is both hilarious & sad all at once. He may be only 5’4″ as he sings in the latter song, but trust me when I say, TX2 is going to have a big impact on the rock scene over the next few years.
  • Set It Off: Once again, I have to thank Octane for introducing me to this band. They’ve been around for over a decade but I had never heard of them until Punching Bag (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qb5-s5qwlCQ) took over the airwaves this year. I was immediately hooked & hungry for more. Be sure to watch the music video for this one because the end of it sets up the beginning of the video for Win Win featuring Scene Queen (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvOAwvMU8N8). The latter is such a fun song & I’m very impressed with how the guys let Hannah (aka Scene Queen) start off the song & sing at least as much of it as Cody does. That shows confidence & a willingness to share the spotlight, which I love to see. Evil People (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP4W9EGdlsI) & Parasite (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qm6qlz7ups) are also fantastic songs. What’s super interesting about this band is that they’ve had BY FAR their most success this year- AFTER leaving their record label & going independent. Just goes to show that sometimes the “right” way isn’t always the RIGHT way.

Now for most anticipated albums for 2024... (By the way, there are a few songs I probably should have included in this year’s songs of the year but because I know they will be on albums debuting next year, I am saving them for next year’s post- since I imagine those albums will make it to next year’s version of this post.)

  • Jeris Johnson- if When the Darkness Comes & Ode to Metal are any indication, Jeris’s next record will be nothing short of phenomenal.
  • Slaughter to Prevail
  • Judas Priest (coming 3/8/24)
  • Anything by Falling in Reverse- who knows? Maybe Ronnie will surprise us & do an album after swearing he won’t because he has done better with singles since 2018. But with Ronnie, you just never know what he’s got up his sleeve. Whatever it is, I know it will be breathtaking.
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Stop Glorifying Mental Illness


Yes, I intentionally chose a potentially controversial title for this week’s post. This subject is something that’s been on my mind a lot lately, & there is probably no way to discuss it that won’t be controversial, so I figured why not just dive in whole-heartedly rather than tip toeing around the issue? So, with that out of the way, yes, I’m going to discuss the elephant in the room: the glorification of mental illness.

Now this post would be incomplete- & in fact quite tone deaf- if I didn’t acknowledge that we’ve come a long way when it comes to the subject of mental illness. We’re certainly handling it better than we were a couple hundred years ago when people were burned at the stake or cast out of society for even the smallest of social infractions – which may or may not have been related to mental illness. And even in the past decade we’ve made a lot of progress with the comfort level our society has in discussing mental illness. All of this is without a doubt a good thing.

The cold hard truth is that MOST people will experience some form of mental illness in their lifetime. It may not be debilitating, it may not last very long, it may not even require medical treatment. But due to break-ups, death, & other normal but extremely challenging life events, most people will experience an episode of depression or anxiety at some point in their life. Schizophrenia, bipolar, & other more long-term (& less situational) mental illnesses occur with far less frequency but are by no means uncommon. And it’s 100% a good thing for people to feel more comfortable discussing the subject of mental health. No one should be made to feel guilty, embarrassed, or “othered” for struggling with any kind of mental illness.

(Side note- with the lack of exercise, social isolation, & poor diet that so many Americans experience, it’s really no wonder our mental health is in the toilet.)

HOWEVER- I know, I know, you felt a but coming & here it is- what worries me is that instead of ACTUALLY encouraging people to seek help & work on their mental health, we seem to have gotten stuck in a cycle of glorifying mental illness. Or we act like the only help can be obtained from doctors & therapists. As I’ve discussed many times on this blog over the years, I am a big supporter of therapy & experience significant relief from my own struggles with anxiety & depression with the combination of therapy & Prozac. But that still isn’t the full picture. The truth is that therapy & Prozac are only two of the tools in my toolkit against depression & anxiety. There are a lot of others in there- like exercise (which largely consists of walks around the neighborhood), eating a relatively healthy diet, outdoor time, music, reading, writing, connecting with friends & family, etc. And for some people, these other things may be all that is needed.

The truth- at least what I’ve found to be true in my life– is that the best thing you can do for your mental health is learn to understand your own brain. This is something that therapy can teach you, of course, but I fully understand that not everyone can afford therapy or can find a therapist they really connect with. As much as I love mine, I only see her a few times a year because it’s expensive & frankly I’ve learned a lot of techniques I can use on my own anyway. The point is we need to learn to understand two basic things about ourselves: HOW do we think? And WHY do we think the way we do? For example: does your mind immediately catastrophize every situation? And if so, why? What kind of trauma in your past taught your brain that this was the logical way to think? It’s only when we are able to observe our own thought patterns & discover the reasons behind them (we may never know ALL the reasons of course), that we can begin to have power over our own mind. Once you’re able to answer these two questions, you will find that you don’t have to be a slave to your own mind. You CAN have power over it. Two great resources for this process that I highly recommend are Dr. Nicole LePera & her the.holistic.psychologist account on Instagram & the book What Happened to You? by Dr. Bruce Perry & Oprah.

The other difficult truth that we often don’t like to confront is that sometimes beating mental illness means doing things that are hard or make us uncomfortable. Just about every single person whose story I’ve read or listened to about overcoming depression/anxiety mentions exercise & spending time outdoors as major tools to fighting their demons. Do you think these people always WANT to exercise or get outside? Of course not! Our bodies, which include our minds, love to be lazy. It’s easy to be lazy! And while I absolutely believe we all need rest/recovery days, it worries me that I see so many posts & memes these days encouraging people who are depressed or anxious NOT to get out & exercise & do the hard things that will ultimately make them feel better. It’s almost like it’s become “cool” to be depressed. TRUST ME, I am guilty of this at times. I HAVE SHARED THOSE POSTS. I know that at times I have been part of the problem. While there is absolutely value in knowing that we’re not along in our struggles, I also believe that sometimes we need someone to give us a swift kick in the ass & help us get out of our funk. Sometimes we need to give ourselves that kick! At the end of the day, no one else can do the work for you. You have to be your own savior. Yes, that is daunting but it is also incredibly empowering.

If you want to listen to an excellent discussion on this subject, look no further than this fantastic podcast with my favorite YouTuber Finn McKinty & Caleb Shomo, frontman & musical mastermind of the band Beartooth (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQgfBBmqsz0). In last week’s post, I discussed Beartooth’s latest album & how it’s all about Caleb finally winning his lifelong battle with depression. That doesn’t mean that depression is 100% in his past & that he’ll never struggle with it again- of course not. For many of us, it’s a DAILY battle. But he has finally found ways to make it less of a battle. If he can do it, I think any of us can. (And yes, exercise has been a HUGE part of his success over the past year or two.) As Finn & Caleb discuss, sometimes it’s easier to stay in a dark place because even if it’s miserable, it’s comfortable- it’s the devil we know. But that’s no way to live. Anyway, Finn & Caleb do an excellent job of discussing the issues with glorifying mental illness in this podcast & I strongly encourage you to give it a listen. They’re probably way more profound that I have been.

Perhaps these lyrics from Riptide (one of my favorites on the album- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv3t0Fvgvik) sum it up best:

I’m done explaining my pain, this is way too much
I wanna feel euphoria, give me the rush
‘Cause it’s the last time that I romanticize
The riptide that’s trying to drown me
Full of excuses for way too long
Don’t wanna sing another hopeless song
‘Cause it’s the last time that I romanticize
The riptide, it’s a riptide

Don’t wanna die, I guess I gotta let it go
Don’t wanna die, I guess I gotta let it go

Again, this post is in no way intended to make anyone feel guilty or stupid for struggling with any mental illness. None of us gets to choose the brain we’re born with & the thought patterns we are prone to. But the vast majority of us CAN have far more control over our own brains than we tend to think. We just have to learn to understand ourselves. Once we do that, anything & everything else will be possible. It may still be a daily battle- & we may not win it every single day- but it CAN get better.

Side note- one of the best side effects of learning to understand ourselves is that it naturally helps us to better understand others- which leads to us being more compassionate & understanding & thus better able to serve others. But that’s a post for another day.

P.S. Just because you find ways to better manage your anxiety or depression, does NOT mean you have to become one of those annoying toxic positivity people. Absolutely not. Toxic positivity is actually mentally just as unhealthy as anxiety or depression because it doesn’t allow you to experience the full range of emotions that we are SUPPOSED to experience. But again that’s a post for another day.

Now- do I really want to go exercise right now? Absolutely not. But am I going to do it anyway? You better believe it!

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I’m Weird & I Love It


“I’m weird & I love it.” Now sing that to the tune of LMFAO’s Sexy & I Know It which was all the rage back in 2011. It works, right? Right. Ok, onto more serious stuff…

If you know me, you know I love rock music. Well, a week ago today a band called Beartooth released their latest album The Surface. One of the more recent singles off the album is entitled Might Love Myself (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83rcK9Xne5A) & it perfectly encapsulates the positive self-love anthem of the record. If you know anything about Beartooth, you know this is a MASSIVE change for them. Frontman & primary songwriter Caleb Shomo has been very open about the severe depression he has struggled with from his teens on through his entire adulthood. In fact it has been the primary theme of most of the band’s music. But over the past two years he has finally found his way out of the darkness of self-loathing & learned to love himself. I for one have thoroughly enjoyed watching Caleb’s transformation into a happier, healthier human being- it’s so inspiring! The music on this album is every bit as heavy as before, but there is now a clarity & soul in Caleb’s voice that shines through in an undeniable way- & that alone is enough to make this their best album to date.

Anyway, the reason this is relevant is that today’s post is all about embracing the fact that I am in fact a bit weird- but I LOVE that about myself! Now, I have never struggled with the kind of self-loathing that Caleb has (or that my husband has), but I have definitely struggled with various forms of anxiety, depression, & OCD tendencies for most of my life. I wasn’t always AWARE of it, especially in my younger years, but the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized that my brain really is a bit different than most. For better or worse, I am definitely prone to a melancholy personality- which is not to say that I’m sad all the time. Not at all. It’s more that I’m overly serious & struggle to truly relax (my husband is the same way). Moreover, it’s been a major theme of my life that I frequently find myself feeling like a bit of a loner. Again, not necessarily that I don’t have friends or everyone hates me, just that I often feel like I’m the only person in any given group who doesn’t feel like or agree with everyone else. To put it simply, it’s been a common refrain in my life for people to tell me I’m a little weird or different or not like they expected me to be (for whatever reason).

Now as a child/teen, as you can imagine, hearing this kind of feedback (whether directly or indirectly), wasn’t always encouraging. Sometimes it felt like a punch in the face. After all, there is nothing kids/teens want more than to “fit in,” to be accepted, to NOT stand out too much (at least not in a negative way). But I learned at a very young age that I was never going to be able to be “cool,” that no matter how hard I tried I would always be too nerdy or too smart or too quiet or I wore the wrong clothes or whatever. I would always be just a bit outside of the “cool” realm. Naturally I ended up finding acceptance with the other nerdy types which was more than good enough for me. Now, as an adult, I’ve come to really enjoy when people tell me I’m weird or that my tastes are nerdy or that I’m just not what they expected. Because nowadays such things are usually said in a more positive manner. They’re usually said with an undertone of “Wow, you’re interesting!” rather than “What’s wrong with you?” Even if this kind of feedback occasionally is a bit more negative, as an adult, I just don’t care. While I still sometimes find myself wishing there were more people in the world like me, just so I’d feel less “different” at times, in the end I realize that it’s my uniqueness that makes me who I am. And I LIKE who I am.

As stated previously, I’ve never struggled with true self-loathing, but nowadays I am a lot more positive about myself than I was years ago. And the best side effect of that is that I am SLOWLY learning to be less of a people-pleaser. I have learned that some people cannot BE pleased anyway (because they will always find something to complain about). Moreover, being a confident person who stands up for her beliefs is enough to turn some people off – because they like living in their echo chambers & don’t like anyone contradicting them or encouraging them to think outside their own little boxes. The point is I am finally learning to be ok with sometimes being disliked. I don’t think I will ever completely rid myself of the desire to be liked but I have learned that what my mom said years ago is true: It’s better to be respected than to be liked. Respect is worth a lot more, in the end.

Having said all that, I thought it would be fun to create a list of things that make me weird, unusual, or whatever adjective you want to use to indicate being a bit outside of the norm.

  • Thanks to my OCD tendencies, I never let me email inbox get cluttered. Furthermore, I never leave text messages unread for more than a few hours, & I almost always respond in a timely manner. It feels like I’m leaving something undone if I don’t, & I hate that feeling.
  • I keep any cash I have in order in my wallet- in other words, larger bills at the bottom, smaller bills on top, all facing the same direction. If they’re not like that, it creates a level of anxiety that is disproportionate to the “crime.”
  • I still sleep with stuffed animals. No, my husband doesn’t mind. He wouldn’t be my husband if he minded. Furthermore, I still collect stuffed animals. I even bought a small stuffed Covid virus back during the pandemic. And somewhere or other I still have a stuffed herpes virus & a stuffed neuron (brain cell) I got in college. Not kidding. As someone told me just yesterday “That is some real nerd stuff.”
  • My husband & I don’t wear our wedding rings. We’ve been married for 12 years & he has never worn his regularly, & I haven’t worn mine regularly past maybe the first year. I couldn’t tell you the last time I wore them. It’s been years for sure. This is one that REALLY bothers some people, which I find strange because if it doesn’t bother us (& obviously it doesn’t), why should anyone else care?
  • Again, my husband & I have been married for 12 years but we have never had a joint bank account or credit card. We split the bills, with him paying a bit more than I do since he makes more money than I do, & we pay for our own “miscellaneous” expenses which works out great because neither of us can whine about the other spending money on something we don’t value. Someone once told me this was “un-biblical.” While I know the person meant well, I wish I’d had the presence of mind to respond that banks didn’t really EXIST in biblical times, which made the comment quite irrelevant. (Insert eye roll here.)
  • Despite my predilection for rock/metal, I don’t have any tattoos. I have no problem with tattoos- I quite like them as a general concept- but I have never had any particular desire to have any myself. Neither do I have any piercings aside from basic earrings. Nor do I wear black all the time. In fact, aside from band T shirts that are of course disproportionately black, I rarely wear black at all, unless you count black yoga/athletic pants.
  • I didn’t love the baby stage, especially the newborn stage. I struggled with PPD which of course colored things a lot for me, but even so, I’ve just never been someone who really loves babies. I do not miss my child being younger. I never get sad when I think about her needing me less as she grows up. Quite the opposite- I’m usually cheering. “You want to take a shower by yourself now instead of me helping you with a bath? Fantastic!” Of course I have good memories & fleeting moments of nostalgia, but trust me when I say they’re fleeting.
  • On a similar token, I don’t dread the teenage years. I LIKE older kids & teenagers. You can have so much more interesting conversations with them. They really have their own personalities & likes/dislikes by then. They are – in my opinion anyway- so much more rational. Yes, I know, I am crazy. You won’t find my volunteering much at my daughter’s school nowadays but in a few years, I’ll probably be happy to do anything I can.
  • Aside from a little football here & there, I genuinely don’t watch TV anymore (& never have much), not even Netflix. I just prefer to read. I’ve always got so many books that I want to read that I just can’t find time for television. And I truly don’t feel like I’m missing anything of value to me. Does this mean I’m left out of conversations at work sometimes or that I am oblivious to certain TV/movie references people make in general conversation? Yes. But does it bother me these days? Absolutely not.
  • I actually like cold weather. It’s the heat that I find suffocating, depressing, & soul sucking. But when I feel a chill in the air, my spirit soars.
  • I actually ENJOY going places alone- whether it’s a restaurant, a movie (not that I’ve been to a movie theater in almost a decade, but I did used to enjoy going to matinees alone on occasion), or a concert. Being alone in a crowd doesn’t bother me. I love to people watch. I love my own company. If that makes me weird- well, as far as I can tell, I got the trump card.

I could go on & on, but if you’ve read this far I think you get the point. Some days are still a struggle, some days I still feel like maybe I wasn’t made quite “right,” like there’s something “wrong” with me. But in general I’m in a better place now than ever. Coming back to Might Love Myself by Beartooth- as the song states “I’m exactly who I want to be.”

My challenge to you is to find whatever makes you weird or different & celebrate it. And if you can’t find anything, that’s ok too. Regardless, the more you love yourself- which sometimes requires actively changing your behavior if you find things that need work- the better your life will be & the more you’ll be able to truly love others, even those who are very different from you.

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