I’ve got a lot of random thoughts swimming around my head right now. And no, they aren’t ALL about pregnancy, babies, or children. In case you’re wondering, this isn’t going to turn into a “mommy blog,” although I’m sure I will have more posts about that subject than I did before, but I assure you it won’t be the main theme.
Anyway, some of these topics may evolve into their own blog posts later this week, but for now I’ll just do a brief visit on each subject as a means of clearing my mind.
- On Saturday I went to one of the local malls to look for new bras. Yes, I’m not even finished with the first trimester (getting close though), & already my old bras have gotten too tight to be comfortable. Woohoo! Haha! Anyway, there I am in Motherhood Maternity trying on bras when the saleswoman starts going on & on to me about how horrible her pregnancies were & how she desperately hopes she isn’t pregnant again. As if that weren’t bizarre enough, she then goes on to say that I better hope my baby isn’t a girl because “girls are so much harder.” (Did I mention I was trying on bras during all of this?!) Unfortunately this isn’t the first time I’ve been told this. As early as last year when I was just talking about having kids several women told me to hope for boys because “they’re easier.” I’ve always found such comments incredibly rude & obnoxious, & I think the fact that they’ve always come from women makes them even worse. How do these women not realize that they are perpetuating negative stereotypes against their own gender? It’s very obvious to me that it all boils down to parents being afraid that their daughters will get pregnant & become a burden on them. I understand this is a legitimate fear, but if we raised our kids in such a way that sex wasn’t completely off the table for discussion or always regarded as something dirty to which they can’t have access, maybe we wouldn’t have to worry so much about such things. And shouldn’t parents of boys be equally worried that their sons will impregnate someone at an early age or disadvantageous time? If I have sons I sure as hell will be. And maybe we wouldn’t have to worry so much about our daughters getting hurt by men if we as a society raised better men. Hmm, just a thought . . . No matter what your thoughts are on the subject, I just think it is unacceptable to make such comments, especially to a complete stranger! Additionally, I just can’t help but wonder if women who make such comments treat their daughters differently than their sons. I certainly am incredibly grateful that my mom (& dad) never once made me feel like I was more difficult or a greater burden to them because I was a girl. Also next time someone makes such a comment to me (because sadly I’m sure it will happen again) I sincerely hope that instead of just being flabbergasted & saying nothing at all I will have the courage to tell them exactly where to get off. In a relatively polite way of course.
- The next subject actually deals with gender as well. Living in NC naturally there are all kinds of memes floating around the internet about the whole transgender bathroom issue. I understand that some people have legitimate concerns that sexual predators will start using the women’s bathroom as a way to target females. However, in my opinion the likelihood of this happening is no greater now than it ever has been. I certainly have trouble believing that a cisgender heterosexual male is going to pretend to be transgender, one of the most misunderstood & generally disliked groups of people in our society, & dress up as a woman just to get into the women’s bathroom & have a chance of harassing someone. But that’s not really what I want to discuss today. What really bothers me about this whole issue is the complete lack of empathy I’m seeing over & over again in regard to the transgender community. And a lot of this is coming from people I genuinely love & respect! I just don’t understand how otherwise decent people can have so little empathy for someone who identifies with the opposite gender. Do these people really think someone would CHOOSE to feel that way with all of the difficulties it entails just for the hell of it? That’s absurd. Besides which, if you really think about it, a person who is biologically a male but identifies as a woman & chooses to live as a woman is quite likely actually attracted to men & probably has no sexual interest in women anyway. But that’s really all beside the point. It’s the total lack of empathy surrounding this issue that just makes me want to pull out my hair & throw up my hands in defeat.
- Is it bizarre that the idea of potty-training my kids scares me more than teaching them about sex or death or other such traditionally “difficult” subjects? I was awake at 0500 today pondering such things as how to teach my kids fractions & basic math. Somehow this seems more intimidating than teaching them all the “hard” stuff, which is kind of ironic considering I’ve always been really good at math anyway. I just have this irrational fear that I won’t be able to figure out the “easy,” basic stuff like potty-training or teaching my kids to tie their shoes. I know it’s irrational but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about these things sometimes. Overall though I am extremely proud of myself for how relaxed I’ve been throughout this pregnancy so far.
- I have never been the jealous type but there is this one girl who goes to my gym who is just so beautiful & in such perfect shape that I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy every time I see her. Her face is beautiful, her hair is gorgeous, her skin is flawless, & she has the perfect amount of nicely defined muscles while still having plenty of curves. But when I saw her yesterday it occurred to me that no matter how “perfect” she may seem to me, I have no idea how she actually feels about herself. For all I know she could be jealous of girls like me who have considerably bigger boobs! The point is we all have our own “hang-ups,” our own insecurities about our so-called “flaws” that in reality most other people probably never even notice.
Well, those are my thoughts for today. As I said, some of these topics may evolve into separate blog posts later this week, but for now I hope these discussions were both humorous & thought-provoking. Happy Monday, everyone!